A support forum for writers dealing with mental illness |
Sadly, I have a low self-esteem. I've had a low self-esteem since I was born I think. After all, I did share a womb with my twin sister. Unfortunately, she died when my mother was three months into the pregnancy. So I attribute all of my negative attributes to this one incident. Well, I don't know if that has a thing to do with my issues, but that's what I'm going with because I've been depressed all of my life. I can remember all the way back to kindergarten and being made fun of. So being made fun of for so long creates a low self-esteem. I think it's vastly important to have a good self-esteem, not necessarily too high because you can go the other direction which would be a different set of problems. There was a point when I was doing some modeling and promotions when my self-esteem improved a bit, but that didn't last very long. I felt good about myself because I was young, and thin, and cute. I'm not really sure how to encourage someone to balance their high self-esteem. I usually get as far away from people with that high of a self-esteem as quickly as possible. I've got plenty enough problems of my own, so having to deal with someone whose self-esteem is through the roof is too much for me to handle. I think I'm a prime target for those who prey on those with low self-esteem. But maybe it's stronger than I think it is. I don't think my self-esteem is so low that I'd be drawn into a cult of anything. I'm sure that's a tough spot to be in. But it's low enough, that's for sure. But I don't know what to say or do without coming across as weak. I think that's kind of built-in to me, being weak, that is. Then again, I guess there are varying degrees of levels of self-esteem, eh? I'm getting loopy. It's time for bed. Goodnight. |