Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

My self-esteem has fluctuated throughout my life for sure. The lowest point I remember was in my twenties. I was in a toxic relationship. He controlled my every movement and isolated me from my friends.I spent much of my time in the house without anyone to have a real conversation with. I remember breaking out in a sweat if family members dropped in to visit because my conversational skills had dwindled to, "Pass the salt, please."

I needed some dental work done and my sister asked me why I didn't make an appointment. My answer was, "Why bother? I'm not a real person." And at the time that was how I felt.

The highest point was when I was working at a church as a pastoral assistant to the minister. It was a satisfying job and I felt needed and respected by the congregation and the people who came to me for help.

My self-esteem is stable now, but there are good and bad days. On bad days when depression hits hard, the self-esteem can sink pretty low and I have problems pulling myself back up.

Self-esteem is important because if you can't help yourself you can't help anyone else.

River