Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

For a lot of people, fear of loneliness is funny or doesn't make sense. Many people don't understand the difference between being alone and being lonely. To me, it is terrifying. I'm afraid of loneliness and not being able to grab onto something/someone to get myself out of there. I feel lonely constantly for the past 5-6 years.

I'm also afraid of... space. This is funny because I don't think I'll ever travel outside of earth but the feeling of being so little in such vastness also terrifies me. This is rational fear which I believe many people have; phobia from a big space. I don't have phobia though. I can watch movies whose setting is in the space for example. I just feel unsettling about the vastness overall and what it would look like if I find myself there.

When I was little I dreamed about being trapped in an endless, empty field with extremely fat and tall people around me, talking to me in some unclear language and smiling. I used to wake up very upset and to have it worse, I dreamed about the same thing all over again, few times in a month. I don't remember when it stopped but I'm glad I don't dream about this anymore because it was awful *lol*.

Overall, I fear of vastness, either in my mind or in tanglible reality.