Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

It's funny to have a personality disorder and comment on the bests and worsts of my personality. I'd say I'm fairly understanding with people. I can easily empathize with people's situations, even if I've not been in them myself. For example, it's easy for me to understand why someone is upset even when most people are like, "What is this person's problem?" I think the best part of my personality though is that I'm self-aware. (Maybe too self-aware. Hello, anxiety!) Self-awareness, in my opinion, is a necessity to not be a dick. If you can't see the effect you have on others in a given situation, there's no way for you to prevent being inconsiderate.

Just some general things I do that make me not a dick:
- I always use my turn signal before changing lanes
- I don't talk in movie theatres
- I wait for people to exit the train/elevator before entering
- I don't put my backpack on the seat next to me so that no one can sit there
- I don't block the grocery aisle to hold a conversation
- I treat retail clerks/restaurant staff with respect
- I'm mindful to not ask people uncomfortable questions
- I show up places on time
- I say 'please' and 'thank you'
- I give people the benefit of the doubt

And all these things might seem like completely minor, pointless things... but they do matter. I can't ever tell if people just have a complete lack of self-awareness or if they're intentionally awful, but because I give people the benefit of the doubt (), I'll go with the former.

The worst part of my personality is everything that has to do with having borderline personality disorder. So... I'm needy, self-destructive, paranoid, etc... I have a really bad temper and uncontrollable mood swings. I can't handle rejection at all. Pretty much a lot of things that end up making me a dick in the end anyway.

As far as the MBTI test goes, I've been taking this for school for the past 3 years. I'm not sure why, but business school seems to heavily rely on this test to just, like, figure out your personality. Before I started school and the first year of school, I always got INFP  . You can read the personality type. It sounds like me, sort of. At times. After the first year of school though, I started getting INTJ   personality type. That's, um, pretty different from INFP if you read both profiles.

There are a lot of versions of this test, by the way. I've taken several different ones that you have to pay to take for school and they're all formatted differently. I don't know why the shift in MBTI personality type. I can only think that it has to do with taking the test in an academic setting combined with pursuing a very logic-driven degree. Oh, and having an unstable self-image due to BPD. I guess it's actually surprising that I don't get more of the 16 personality types when I take it.

I don't know which MBTI personality types I supposedly get along with best. I know that in real life experience, I tend to get along with extroverts who favor thinking over feeling. So, any of the ExTx personality types. The problem with fellow introverts is that we don't balance each other out at all. In fact, we probably rarely even meet and start hanging out in real life because neither of us would take the required social steps to do that. And then the thinking over feeling is pretty much just a necessity because I have enough emotions to fill EVERYONE'S calendar. When I get around other strong F types, it tends to be at least somewhat toxic or unhealthy.

Best,
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