Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

I really don't know how people perceive me. I always think they consider me stupid and fat and ugly and generally not worthy of sharing their air. I don't know how much of that is true. It certainly blows my mind that I have a husband who loves me and two amazing friends who have stuck by me since we were at primary school. I honestly don't know what any of them see in me, but I'm happy they do see something.

But, perceptions. The weirdest thing, and I still can't get my head around this today. A few years ago, I was speaking to my hubby about how shy he is. I said I understood because I've been painfully shy all my life. He laughed. Actually laughed. Then said I am not in any way shy. I thought he must just think that because I'm not as shy as him, so in his mind that means I'm not. So, I texted my two best friends to get confirmation from them that he was wrong. But they sided with him! The three people who know me best in the whole world think I'm not shy. But, I know I am! I hate speaking to people I don't know. Just because I'm polite and friendly, it doesn't mean I find it easy. But, how can they possibly think I'm not shy? I totally am!

In general, I try not to judge people until I've spent some time with them. That said, it's human nature to get an initial opinion. We have to try to understand others. Generally, I'm a pretty good judge. Except for my ex husband. Even with him, I think I knew he was trouble. But, today, I'm a good judge of character. It's harder online because you can't see people's expressions. Even so, you still get a fairly good handle on people after a while. I've changed my perceptions of people from time to time. Usually, though, I'm pretty spot on.