Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Sleep, Dreams, & Nightmares

Tell us a bit about your sleeping habits.
Example questions to answer: How much do you sleep on an average night? Do you use sleep aids? Do you wake up in the middle of the night often or have trouble falling asleep? Do you remember your dreams often? Have you ever had a lucid dream? Do you have nightmares? Can your dreams/nightmares be connected back to real life things you're dealing with, or are they often random?


Funny you should mention this today... I just wokeup from a Cloazepam induced sleep, very suddenly (I was woken up). I thought it was 6pm: it was 10am. Groggy. Remembering the long dream I was in. I stopped at my grandparents PUD, or big mobile home, in a senior community. I made myself at home. I kept entering and leaving. Each time, she was there is one room or another. At one point, I put her bunnies in some red fireplace oven thing, like a ummm fireplace made of metal, big, that isn't a fireplace? Just to warm them up. Towards the end of another round in her house, I opened the door and they disappeared. I spent some time looking for them to make sure they got out.

At one point, her husband (my supposed grandfather) was there, but he was supposed to be travelling. They had lied to me. There were little imperfections in the dream that pointed to them not being all that great; not bad, not evil, but just human, ya know? At the end, I came back yet again, and sat in their comfy recliner. They came out and I was busted for coming and going at will without letting them know. I left.

Then, I ended up (somehow) in a school. Of weird tasks. For weirder peeps. At one point, I was tasked with standing on a shelf for two hours. I overstayed my shift by two hours, and when I told the boss, she said she couldn't get me to go home. Hmm. No memory of her talking to me about THAT.

Then, I went back to my grandmas PUD to meet Gus, my old ex (IRL) and quasi-friend, because I wanted my cellphone back. He had taken it a while ago. In the dream.

Then I wokeup. I'm not really awake as I write this. I am Runner-dog sitting. Baby sitting an extreme rescue we got days ago who broke his leash while out and headed for our dry, massively (8-9 years?) overgrown creek bed. He hid out for two days. I led him home yesterday after my 71 mother had hacked her way in the creek bed to corner him. She brought him home and does all the work, but I got the glory this time Because I haven't done anything to him, I am innocuous. And all dogs love me until they realize I am a cat mama, and I am NOT going to feed them dinner or otherwise take care of them. Eventually they learn ha. He has two leashes on. We figured— best to be safe.

I'm having coffee but it needs another four shots.

How much do you sleep on an average night?
Zero to ten hours. It's never the same, it all depends. Sleep is very hard hyped up on steroids. With MASSIVE Restless Legs Syndrome that hurt the bad hips. Hence...

Do you use sleep aids?
The Clonazepam. It's a controlled substance. It's used for seizures and only as a last resort for RLS. It is the only thing to work. My only pain med, Tizanidine, causes an exacerbation of the RLS. I have to take Clonazepam WITH the Tiz, every time. I can't find another drug to help all my pains that isn't an opiod, but I refuse to take those again. Is that spelled right? Opiod. Looks weird...

Do you wake up in the middle of the night often or have trouble falling asleep?
YES. Especially with RLS. I can sleep for an hour or two then it wakes me up. Invariably as soon as I'm hooked into a great sleep, my cats decide to chase each throughout the house, pick a fight, or knock something over. Or play continuously with some annoying toy. Enough Clonazepam and I won't hear it-- not enough, and it's Hey guys, save it for the morning!

Do you remember your dreams often?
I think so. They begin to fade slowly away though, except the nightmares, those stay longer. Ain't that the way it is!

Have you ever had a lucid dream?
Is that what you're calling visitations from above YES. After my dad died, I wanted him to see me in my dreams. But he didn't. Then I read I needed to give him permission, so I asked him if I could see him in my dreams. That night he showed up. We were at the outside place where I saw Lalapalooza in the 1990s. We packed a lunch, and sat up on a grass-covered hilltop. We were workmates, working in construction as he often did. We had a nice little conversation. I remember it well but not the conversation... I think I wasn't meant to remember that. But I wokeup feeling peaceful. I am one of the lucky few who said most everything to him I wanted to say BEFORE he had a sudden heart attack at 60. I really am blessed.

I've had some lucid visitations from other deceased friends, as well... it was always with a feeling of calm and peace.

Do you have nightmares?
YES. Not as many as earlier in my life, as I am 46 now, but yes. Let's just say NOBODY gets away from a rotten childhood, even when you feel you've 'dealt with it'.

Can your dreams/nightmares be connected back to real life things you're dealing with, or are they often random?
Whether they can be or not, I always try to connect the dots. I can almost always find some reason within them to turn around as a lesson. Grandma's PUD? Everyone's human. Which I knew, so why I had to dream about it, I dunno. I DO have high standards for myself at times... And I do not have any grandparents. I only ever knew one, and because of her schizophrenia, my mom cutoff contact with her when I was a teen. I guess... even if I had had what I always wanted, grandparents and actual family, they'd disappoint me at time being that they are 'only human'. How freaking corny.

I did not temper my inner verbosity, being so tired... Hopefully you'll get the opportunity to respond as well Charlie! Nice subject.