Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Do you feel like the holiday season affects your mental health at all?
For over two decades the holiday season was horrible for me. Christmas has some horrible memories. As do all the other holidays people celebrate. Growing up in an abusive and neglectful home, holidays were just one more thing that reminded me I wasn't like other people. After my daughter was born, for her sake, I tried to celebrate the holidays and give her experiences I never had. Unfortunately, I just couldn't. So now, we generally just ignore them. The most we typically do is a nice meal. Instead of a day of presents, we do presents throughout the year. We do mini celebrations when we choose and focus on birthdays, celebrating each person's special day as much as we're able. We're grateful for each other every day.

Do the holidays make you feel better or worse? In what ways?
They used to make me feel horribly lonely and depressed. Now, they just remind me of the loss of my parents and biological family. I turn down invitations to join others because I never fit in and it just makes it worse. My husband and I have learned that holidays just don't work for us.

Do you feel any additional pressures?
I still feel the pressure that I'm not providing our kids with memories they'll cherish when they're older. But I realize I can't know what things they will look back on and feel love from.