Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Growing up my father's side of the family was Pentecostal. We went to church at least 3-4 times a week. People would faint and speak in tongues on a regular basis. I found it all very humorous and ridiculous though I believed some of the things they preached were true to a certain extent but this church did not allow questions of their faith. The bible was a certain truth and exploration of different ideas was discouraged.

My mother's side of the family was Seventh Day Adventists which meant I attended church on Saturdays, as well. I found this church to be more open and accepting of questions and exploration of the meaning of the bible. They were of a learning environment and I enjoyed my time there more, though I did grow bored of the same old preaching and stories of what everything meant in some book written by men thousands of years ago.

This never became my truth. It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I discovered the "Big Blue Book" by Ray Buckland and my journey into Different branches of paganism began because a lot of wht I discovered matched my own personal beliefs. Over the years I have read lots of books and practiced many things. I once was also part of a Druid Grove here in my town when I had the time to travel to all the get togethers. I consider myself and eclectic pagan though, but believe that all religions have positive aspects that we can pull from to help with our own individual spiritual journey. What we call ourselves matters little to the entities we speak to.

I also have my own personal beliefs when it comes to God/Gods/Goddesses... I think no matter what deity/dieties you believe in, the truth of them is something beyond our understanding and we have many pantheons/gods/goddesses to pull from to help us talk to them in our own way. No one knows the truth, all we can do is explore and they will speak to us in ways that only we can understand and accept, which will not be the same as our neighbor. Like a wheel, all the different spokes lead to the truth in the center which we will all journey to eventually.

Just as some write to express themselves, others paint... religion/spirituality is merely an individual experience and expression. I do have "feelings" about organized religion that preaches acceptance but turns and tells you you're going to their hell if you don't believe or act their way, but I understand the pull of shared community and love for a spiritual transition and only hope that people can practice what they preach instead of worrying about what I'm doing over here in my own journey.

I do my best not to judge others beliefs and I don't believe in forcing my beliefs onto others. I just enjoy peace and love and think if we can all love and take care of the earth and each other, the best way we can, then we're doing good.

I don't think I was "hurt" by religion. I just knew certain one's weren't for me and instead focused on what felt right for me and left the rest for others to attach themselves to. In my journey the different exposures to different beliefs helped mold me into a better person and helps bring me peace when I need it.

We're all just trying to find our way.