Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

At what age did you first notice you might have a mental health issue? Did you know then that it was a mental health issue? Did you just feel different than others?
-In retrospect, definitely when I was about seven or so. I'm not sure I actually noticed then. I did know that something was wrong when I was nine, because I felt so depressed and I attempted suicide. A really...weak attempt, but still. I just felt different my entire childhood and it got worse as I got older. I never made friends easily, to the point my parents promised that once I hit junior high, we wouldn't move anymore (I went to 4 different elementary schools in 3 different states, so).

Can you think of a specific 'triggering moment' for your mental health issues? Was there a particular instance that made you feel as though you'd sort of broken off mentally?
-My childhood was extremely abusive, so yes, but I'd rather not go into detail. For one, that'd be really triggering for everyone else to read.

As an adult, what memories and mental health issues do you carry on from childhood?
-A lot. I'm borderline, avoidant, dependent, bipolar, anxious... I have PTSD (naturally) and some other stuff going on in my brain. I remember a lot from my childhood at this point, as a previous abusive boyfriend ended up triggering a bunch of suppressed memories to become not suppressed anymore (which isn't how I wanted to spend the last half of college, but oh well). I get a lot of emotional flashbacks, or just snippets rising like from the depths of a well you don't want to peer into or find out how deep it goes.

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you."-Nietzsche