Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

I never actually noticed any mental health issues personally until 2017. Before that I always just chalked it up to being stress, that there was a lot to do, and that having little panic attacks was just the normal. Those started back in college, probably 2011-12, somewhere when I was nearing graduation and trying to figure out what was coming next.

The big break for me was February 2017. I was at work, my boss was gone so I was doing my job and hers, there was a ton of shit going on. I ended up being at my desk, started to get light headed, vision was in and out. I stood up and walked around a bit, calmed myself down and it was okay for about 10 minutes and then it happened again. I called my mom and told my co-workers I was going to the doctor because I wasn't feeling well. I just went to one of those small clinics and when I got there and in, my blood pressure was super high and they sent me to the ER. Hours later, it came back that I had had a full blown panic attack which spiked the blood pressure. From then on, I've had a primary care doctor and been on medication for it. I was lucky enough my roommate came and stayed with me during the ER and my mom drove the 3 hours to come up and stayed the night that night of the attack. It was crazy and still gives me chills thinking about it because I can remember how it all felt.

I don't know that I carry anything from childhood. If I had to pick something, back in 2001 my dad had a motorcycle accident and broke both arms. Since he couldn't work, we weren't making a lot of money and I was old enough to understand when I saw mom stressed about finances. I think that I empathized and felt stress for maybe the first time in my life. That could have been something that brought forth the anxiety for me but I had no idea then.