Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Recovery means maintaining abstinent from symptoms of mental illness. It means using coping skills on a daily basis. Recovery doesn't just mean IT'S OVER. It means you are actively working daily to maintain and live differently.
As I stare at this question and think of some of the answers I've given recently, I want to cry. I'm devastated. Since 7th grade, I have suffered from Trichotillomania. The god awful mental illness that I can't even pronounce or spell properly. If it wasn't for Grammarly, it would NEVER be spelled correctly in these assignments. It's an embarrassing mental illness where you pull out your hair. Well, when I got pregnant, BAM! It magically stopped. I thought I was cured. I honestly have never been so happy in my life. I wore my hair down for months!!!! My son is 15 months now so I'd say I stopped for about 2 years total. Well, recently... within the past week or two, I all of a sudden noticed I was doing it. My hair GREW and it grew in one length!!! all the way to the middle of my back. Before my pregnancy, my hair never grew past my shoulders. It literally STOPPED growing from damage to the roots and scalp. The hair that WAS there was a MILLION different lengths. It's the most embarassing thing in the world because it would grow a million different lengths and start looking like a mullet since I would always pull in one spot near my ponytail. It's mortifying. Anyway... these past 2 years, even though I'm overweight, I've never felt better about myself because of my hair. It looks gorgeous. If will alone could stop me, I would have stopped years ago. I can't tell you how many days and nights I spent crying over this. I've tried everything. Nothing- besides my pregnancy has ever helped including every medication in the world. I really wanted it to be over :(


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