Writing Forum

Your friend is quite correct, but it all depends on when that detail is in the story. If it is in the version that the reader finally gets to read, you have to bear in mind the simple caveat of any story:

Whenever you pause the story to describe your world - whether it is the larger mechanisms of how the world works or something smaller like the the room the current scene is taking place in - your reader is conscious of that pause. They are aware the story has stopped. They wait patiently for the story to begin again. They have a limit to that patience.

With sci-fi and fantasy in particular (especially high fantasy), a certain amount of world-building is necessary in order to ground the reader on where they are. Nevertheless, it is a juggling act. Too much information and they get bored, or start skipping paragraphs looking for the story starting up again, or just throw the book in the bin. Not enough information, and they can't get immersed.

Here's a tip: think of your world as a character, one that is ever-present in every scene, and try to breathe some life into it. That'll help create immersion. However, it's a passive character, and the reader is far more interested in your MC and friends.

On the other hand, you can throw as much information as you like into the first draft - it helps flesh out the world for you, and nobody else is ever going to see the first draft, right?

Whether you consider yourself a pantser (aka discovery- or organic-writer) or a plotter, if you are setting your story in an alien world (which anything out of the norm is), then doing a bit of world-building before you begin writing will help enormously. You probably have a reasonable idea already, so take the time and dive into it so when you come to write, you understand your world much better. World-building also throws up lots of story and plot ideas - one of which may be better than the one that set you on this journey.

Anyway, back on track... your friend is right. There is only so much detail you can throw into the story before the reader wonders whether there's any story at all. You have to keep the story moving forward at all times. Small pauses for scene-setting and such are acceptable. Anything that smacks of an info-dump is not. Not if you want readers to love your story.

That's not to say you can't get away with some crazy stuff. If your MC walks up to an ATM machine, they're probably not going to think about the history of the infernal machines we all both love and hate. People just don't care about that kind of thing, so your MC shouldn't either.

In one of my stories, the MC is about to ride a u-train (called a yootie in the story). She's pretty affluent, but even for her this is a moment to savour - she's never been able to afford a ride before, and this one is going to cost the equivalent of ten year's salary to the ordinary worker. Therefore, she is allowed to think of its history, and why it is so freakingly expensive, so I can get down and dirty with an info-dump that is both entertaining and also provides a snapshot of the city before it was what it is now and on its way to getting to how it is now. I get away with it because even for her, it is an unusual experience.

There are lots of 'rules' in writing, and every single one of them can be broken, but you have to understand why those rules exist and what they are for, so you fully comprehend what you are doing when you ignore them.

I like lots of detail about the world when I'm reading both sci-fi and fantasy, but it usually works better when it is woven into the story. Everytime the MC and friends interact with the world, the world comes to life, creating immersion. Don't make the mistake of stopping the story so you can describe the city's political system. If it's important to your story, you can weave it in, if it's not, the reader probably doesn't want to know.