Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

I don't know how you come up with a different topic each week but it's definitely awesome that you manage to reach out a lot of people in the group ! Here's my response:

Have you ever experienced loneliness for a prolonged period of time? When was it and what was the cause?

I did. I think I always felt loneliness but it was in 2012 that I really fell down the abyss. Not in the mood to write about it extensively. If you know me here you know what I'm talking about.

It was horrible because I also felt empty inside. I had all sort of feelings actually which affected my positive views on life I had by that time. It shook me to the ground and part of the loneliness I felt back then is still with me, giving me this fear of uhm.. men. And because of that fear, I think I'll never get rid of that feeling of loneliness.

Why do you think there is more loneliness among those younger than 25 vs. those older than 65?

When you're at school all you think about is how you're going to get through it, which party you're going to be on, why that cute guy doesn't give a shit about your feelings toward him. As you are getting older (time after school) you realize that's not what life is all about but so much more. Now you need to make some important decisions that will shape your existence in this world; you need to find someone to make a family with, you need to find a good job, and overall make a quality of life (whatever the quality means to you since we all choose different life path). BUT, family and job is like this the most common thing between human beings because, when you don't have one, you're instantly labeled by society for being outstanding. So, I think that pressure is what makes youngsters lonely. I, for example, have all my friends married, they all have kids and even though it's not like I suffer because I don't have my own family at this age, I also don't feel like whatever about it. Of course, I feel lonely when I see them, when I start overthinking the future. That sort of loneliness can be really tough sometimes when your friends consciously remind you that you're failure, that you did nothing with your life by the age of 30 (especially when you're a woman). You can say that you don't care for having kids or a husband/wife but you have to admit that life in two is charming. Everyone deserves to have someone to love and who will love them back because love is incomparable feeling.

As for the older people goes, I only think they are one level wiser than 30 years old. They probably know something that 30 years old doesn't and when we come to that age we will see life through different eyes as well. We can't see it now because we don't have enough experience. Older people can feel lonely mostly if they didn't make a family and now they don't have anyone to pay visits and care for them. That's my opinion anyway.

The article mentions loneliness vs. introversion. What is the difference between the two in your experience? Think about how you’d define each one.

I'm loving my time alone- introversion. I love to close myself in a room every once in a while, read, watch Marvel movies or some great TV shows, and play in Photoshop. I HATE when someone comes and disturb MY time saying things like: you're not normal for being closed in the room while it's sunny outside. You should take a walk and hang out with people instead. FUCK OFF.
Loneliness I feel when I start thinking how awesome it would be to have someone beside me in that introversion. For example to watch movies with me where we'd talk about the plot, actors, to cuddle and stuff. So many times I run into an awesome TV show that I would love to talk about. Then I turn around and find no one to talk to. It's really frustrating to go through literally everything in life alone .

The article also mentions that social media could be partially to blame. Do you agree or disagree with this? Why?

I'm not crazy over social media but I can see why it can be blamed for loneliness. So many people live false lives on Instagram, Facebook. Everything is sunshine and rainbow; they travel the world, eat good food, they are tough bitches with lots of money and time for shopping and taking selfies. Even though everyone knows life on IG and FB is false, so many people still compare their real life with it and like that experience negative feelings like loneliness, worthlessness. I don't understand anyone who allows social media to be a major influence in their life .

What are some other things that might be causing loneliness in young adults?

In this era, it's the inability to satisfy what society requires of youngsters to be. Having generations growing up idolizing retarded people and trends of Instagram is so scary.

What do you think someone can do to help with loneliness?

People feel loneliness for different reasons and they could look for help according to those reasons. If you feel lonely for not having a husband/wife I guess you can just go outside and try to meet someone and eventually get married. The problem occurs when you're experiencing chronic loneliness, when you so get used to it that you feel odd without it. It becomes the part of you and you almost feel good feeling loneliness. Nothing will help in this case.

~Minja