Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

"Loneliness, Loneliness...is such a waste of time" - Solomon Burke, Cry to Me

I have experienced loneliness. Not for long periods of time I don't recall. But definitely moments. When I was newly divorced and my kids would go to their dad's for the weekend, I would feel lonely when I woke up in the morning.

I know when I was younger, being around people or having social interactions was much more part of my life than it is now. I felt that was living and if I wasn't experiencing it with someone else, it didn't count.
Now I feel like some of my best moments are on my own. I treasure my time alone - in fact, I enjoy my own company very much. I don't get bored and even experience disappointment when my time alone ends.
I'm not saying I don't need or enjoy being around people, I just think when I was younger it was more necessary to my happiness than it is now.

I am an introvert in the sense that after spending time with people, I need to be alone to regenerate whereas an extrovert gets their energy from being around others. I'm not sure that loneliness comes into that. To be alone and to be lonely is not the same. I have been in relationships and been lonely and I have been lonely at parties full of people...at the same time, I have been alone and felt quite loved and content and full.

Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to feeling isolated. So I would suggest figuring out why you feel isolated. Are you spending too much time alone and feel you have no one to talk to? Are your friends people you actually have nothing in common with and so you feel left out? Are you an empty nester that needs to find things to do without dependents? Are you depressed and not enjoying the peace and tranquility that can come with quiet time.

To me being alone is freedom and being lonely is feeling a lack of something






August Leaf

It takes courage to be vulnerable
Brene Brown