Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

What’s going on in your life? Any recent developments? Monday, Mach 25, 2019 - I probably should have responded to this prompt this morning. I was in a positive mood this morning, this afternoon I'm in a negative and depressed mood. Ever since we moved into this apartment in December our financial situation has bordered on the brink of destruction. My checking account was overdrawn in February and March, each time a little worse. It appears it will be overdrawn in April, unless I figure out a way to get another $175.00.

I've been doing working at increasing my income this week. Unfortunately, I suspect I will be able to transfer about $10.00 or $20.00 into my account. Since I may have to make a co-pay in Wednesday, that will mean only about $10.00 (if I can manage to transfer $20.00 from my PayPal account to my checking account. I'm on the verge of tears. None of my family either can or will help. which doesn't surprise me. The only thing that surprises me with my family is when the are willing to help.

I've been focusing on the surveys that I know I can earn money, which I can transfer to my PayPal account. There are a couple of surveys I'm going to withdraw from because they sent either gift cards or merchandise. I don't need anymore stuff, and it's difficult for either De or I to get to anyplace to spend the gift cards. The only gift cards that I see are worth asking for are those to a local pharmacy or grocery store. The only pharmacy close is a CVS and the only grocery store nearby is an Albertson's.

How has your mental health been the past few weeks? At this moment, my mental health is not good. It may improve, once I can get to my fortress of solitude (my recliner), where I can pray and meditate. I can clear my mind enough to focus on a solution to my present situation. I know there must be a solution, if I could just see it. The problem with depression and worry is that it prevents me from seeing the solution. Writing this rant has helped to clear my mind and relieve the stress. I no longer feel a stress headache coming on. That's one of the problems with crying under stress is the stress headache. When I have a stress headache, headache remedies don't help. The only thing I've found to relieve a stress headache is to unstress.

What goals are you currently working toward? What have you already accomplished? Currently I'm working toward keeping my checking account from being overdrawn. On the writing side, I'm working on the my upcoming edition of the spiritual newsletter and writing 200 poem dedicated to the Bab. This year is the bicentenary of the birth of the Bab, that will occur October. I have to have the 200 poems finished before October 29, which is the day of the celebration.

Is there anything that we can do as a group to support you more? Read my rants. Read my poem. Say prayer for assistance or send positive thoughts. If possible read the spiritual and fantasy newsletters I edit each month, and send ideas for subjects or questions to be answered. If you have spiritual or inspiration stories, poems, essays, or articles let me know. Also, let me know if you have fantasy or science fiction stories, articles, essays, or poems.