Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

What’s going on in your life? Any recent developments?
-Not much is really going on in my life tbh. I have my second Botox round next month, so I'm looking forward to that and hoping that it helps. At the end of April/beginning of May, my girlfriend's going to visit, so I'm excited about that. I recently re-started Lamictal and I'm hoping that it helps my seizures and my mood, but I'm still paranoid about rashes. This month was also my sixth wedding anniversary, so that was lovely.

How has your mental health been the past few weeks?
-Terrible tbh. I've relapsed re: my eating disorder, my mood is awful, and I dissociate constantly. I keep having nightmares that feature my family, so I guess my trauma-wrapped brain is trying to tell me something or work through something, but it's not working. It doesn't help that I feel like my case manager doesn't give a frick what I want out of our working relationship, so I just feel kind of hopeless about that.

What goals are you currently working toward? What have you already accomplished?
-I'm always working on Duolingo (currently learning Hawaiian), learning ASL, and coding (currently wrestling with JavaScript ...again ). I want to actually learn and work on cross-stitch, as well as more nail art. I'm extremely tentatively wondering if it would be worth trying to get a CSC in cake baking/decorating, but I feel kind of hopeless on that, since we can't afford it. Oh, and I want to do Camp Nano in April. I've already worked on my March story and hit my 30k word goal days ago, which I'm really pleased about.

Is there anything that we can do as a group to support you more?
-I don't know. Read my stuff? Give me attention/support me? I'm kind of a mess because I keep almost crying writing this and I want to delete everything and say I'm fine, my mental health is fine, I'm doing so well. But uh. That would be a lie.

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you."-Nietzsche