Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

I'm only going to answer this prompt because it feels so good to be asked this simple question, how are you? I don't remember when was the last time someone asked me this so thank you, Charlie.

Nothing is going on in my life. This isn't one of those common, meaningless responses that people instantly move on from. You know how it goes: you meet a friend on the street, you approach each other and, after saying hello, you say either 'what's up?' or 'how are you?', and then you reply like I just did- 'nothing', or 'I'm good, and you?'. Then you start talking about whatever. Well, this isn't that kind of response.

I'm so sick of nothingness I'm experiencing right now. No idea if any of you ever felt like you're being stuck, blocked from everything and everyone. I literally can't feel anything about... well... anything. I don't have plans, I don't know what am I going to do with myself, I don't feel proud/happy/content/calm nor do I feel sad/upset/miserable. I'm a giant NOTHINGNESS right now without the ability to break through . I don't think there's the worse feeling than nothingness.

I haven't written/reviewed/read anything on this site for a year or so. I get reminders in an email from people I need to finish challenges I signed up for but I just can't do a single thing. I'm empty. It took me 5 days to respond to Gabriella with a bitem link of a poem I'm going to sponsor next month. 5 days to respond to a single email. I couldn't even make myself read it, I just told her to give me whatever poem is left. She said I can give up on being a sponsor but I didn't want to be an asshole, especially because those were newbies' poems. Sometimes I even consider leaving the site. That much I'm stuck in this GIANT empty NEVERENDING feeling.

I didn't accomplish anything over the past months. Or I did but I just don't see it. But, when I think about it no, I really didn't. No idea where this all goes.