Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Man, this is a tough situation. I think you might have more empathy for a couple different reasons. 1) He's actively dying. So, that sucks. 2) You connect his behavior to depression. 3) He shows gratitude at some point, she doesn't.

It sounds like you feel like she's entitled and a bit of a troublemaker there. It makes an already difficult job more difficult. My guess would be that she acts the way she does to get attention because she's miserable. I can't imagine being in a place like that and not being completely miserable. Like, I'm about to hop off a bridge on a normal day living in my own place with all the freedoms and independence that goes along with that. I can't even imagine being in a place like that for any period of time.

Conceivably, she's probably depressed as well even though her situation is relatively better than the guy's situation. I think you're maybe a little bit desensitized because you see people in the same place who are a lot worse off and are more grateful, but most of the people there are probably struggling with mental health issues on top of their physical issues, at least to some degree.

That being said, none of those issues are an excuse for treating others poorly. It's not your fault that they're experiencing these health problems. You're on their side, trying to help them and make sure they're in a hygienic environment so that their issues won't get worse. And that's why these jobs are so difficult and draining. On top of all the surface level job responsibilities, there's also this layer underneath of having to remain helpful and empathetic when someone is, for lack of better phrasing, being a dick.

If you're able to frame things through the lens of how miserable that existence is, you might be able to find empathy even in situations like this. And I think you do have empathy because you thought about it enough to write about it here. It's not going to change the fact that someone like that is nearly impossible to deal with, but it might help enough to allow you to do the job without feeling resentment.

Best,

Charlie


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