Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

It can be really draining to spend time with a person like that.

I went through a similar situation with someone, and my instinct also was to tone down the amount of time that I spent with him outside of social obligations that we both had.

In retrospect, I wish I hadn't handled it that way. He didn't care for himself because he was going through some stuff I could really relate to. When I did eventually come clean and explain that it had been eating away at my own personal health taking care of him, he actually had a talk with me about it. Opening up that dialogue was also very draining, but that ended up being very rewarding. He respects my boundaries more now, and has started trying harder to care for himself before we hang out. He still comes to me sometimes, but I never put in more energy toward solving his problems than he does anymore - and he spends just as much time trying to help me.

Maybe, once you've taken some time for yourself to recover, you should try explaining to her why you can't spend the energy instead of just blowing her off. It feels so terrible to be avoided when you're struggling with stuff, you know?