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 |  A support forum for writers dealing with mental illness |
Words, Words, Words... As I read the prompt and the questions we were to ponder as we answered, I could not help but think of an on-going current communication problem I have in my face to face world. I first realized something had gone awry when my new friend said something like, "Well, I didn't want to bother you because I thought you might still be in bed." This was around noon. I generally am out of bed by 6:30 or so, sometimes earlier. Where had M___ got the idea I slept so late? "Well, you told me you don't wake up til late." She then acted as though I was lying when I told her I get up early. In fact, I think the day we had this conversation, I had gotten up about 4:30. She swore I had told her I always slept late. What had I told her? I told her what I have frequently told folks: I may be up and walking around but I don't really wake up til about 10 a.m.. What I meant it that about 10 a.m. I find myself suddenly feeling more alert. I did not mean I literally wake up at that time. We still struggle with this miscommunication because she still tends to cling to the idea I sleep late.  Something sad that has happened with her and I occassionally is that I get angry at her interpretation of things that I have said—and I speak crossly to her. She is old enough to be my mother and I don't like it when I am rude to her. I currently live in a dilapidated house I am hoping to renovate. Recently, I had pretty much decided to throw in the towel on the project and she commented about how excited I had been about fixing up this house when we had met. She said I had been so enthusiastic about it and really wanted to fix it up. I never felt that way. I bought the house sight unseen at a tax auction. Buying it was the biggest mistake I have made since I started to put down roots in this community. I am overwhelmed by all that needs to be done and I am not sure it is even worth fixing up—and to top it off, I do not want to live in it AT ALL. So where did this miscommunication originate? I had told her and her husband that I could do most of the work myself. She assumed I wanted to do the work. I don't. I am poor and can not afford to pay someone to do it for me so, if it is going to be done, I will have to do it myself. Something I am slowly learning is that this woman tends to take things literally and add her own interpretation to things as well. She argued with me that if I say I am going to do something that means I want to do it. The conversation got strained and never got resolved. One result of the many misunderstandings is that I am now trying to speak in simple sentences versus complex sentences and I often take time to check if she has understood what I mean. The other thing I do is love and accept her, foibles and all... Maybe the day will come that our words will be mutually understood but for now, I will give her grace to be her and hopefully she will do the same for me. I treasure her friendship. ruwth may be an odd duck but ~ ~ ~ JESUS is still LORD! ~ ~ ~ |
August Week 2 TotW: Words, Words, Words · 08-08-19 12:43am
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