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Well, if you don't remember raising your kids, then no need to take responsibility when they screw up.

Funny that you say you don't know of having a TBI (traumatic brain injury--often abbreviated as mTBI for mild TBI). One thing I tell folks is not to bother asking folks you think might have just sustained one if they are okay. If they are, they will tell you yes. If they aren't, they don't realize it and will still tell you yes. lol I had one so bad I couldn't even talk right for several weeks. But I didn't understand what was happening. I knew I couldn't talk right and knew I used to be able to. But I couldn't put together that I was in an explosion and now couldn't talk right so it must have something to do with that. I just accepted that I didn't any more. Oh well. It didn't even bother me, you know, BECAUSE I HAD A TBI and couldn't understand that this was a real problem! It was a huge mess. I couldn't advocate for myself because I was too jacked up to even realize I needed to. By the time I realized I needed to, it was too late.

For years I couldn't even get anyone to believe there was a problem with me because the doctor had mis-recorded the incident--on purpose, IMO. Why was the incident apparently recorded correctly in the medical records of the guy she saw right before me? But in my record, she not only didn't mention that there were 4 explosions, but that I was only 66 feet away from the 2nd. I was the 3rd person in a row--back to back--for her to see regarding this incident. No way did none of us mention more than 1 explosion! And the guy right before me got diagnosed with a grade 2 (out of 4) TBI as soon as he got back to the US. I spent the rest of my career being told I was lying, faking, or imagining my symptoms because if you read my medical record after the incident, there's no way I could have a brain injury. I found this out YEARS later, just before getting out of the Army.

Apparently what had happened was that she got mad at me for sicking my commander on her. That is not at all what happened. I was in no condition to make such plans. I asked for a MACE (Military Acute Concussion Exam) after the explosion, but was told no because we didn't need one. Well, the rule is that if you are within 50 meters of a blast (we were within 20) or if you have symptoms (we ALL had symptoms), you are supposed to automatically get checked. But it was 11:30 pm and our docs were lazy, so they didn't want to do it. I always had to report attacks, but since this one was a near miss for me and my officer, I reported that as well. (Our command was in Baghdad, far away from us.) The next morning my commander called to check on us, which he normally didn't do. He asked my MACE score and I told him I didn't get one. He asked why. I told him I didn't know, that I'd asked for one and been told we didn't need one. Well, he later told me he called and told her to give us one and she said no. Uh...This is the Army. When a commander calls and asks you to do something, if it's in any way possible, you DO IT! He said he had to threaten to call HER commander before she'd agree. Now, keep in mind, the MACE is just a set of questions--no big deal. But again, lazy. Anyway, what I think happened is that she got mad at me for tattling on her and took it out on me through my medical records. She didn't do it to my officer because they were both officers. She didn't do it to SGT Burns because he was with us, but from another unit and it wasn't HIS commander that threatened her. So she took it out on me in a way that, by the time I realized what had happened, I could never fix.

Thankfully, though I still can't get proof that my TBI is linked to that explosion, the VA does now agree that I at least HAVE a TBI. I paid almost $5k for my own brain scans that showed the damage. At first my VA neurologist wasn't even going to look at them because she said she didn't know how to read them. However, they'd sent me home with not only a copy of MINE, but also with a copy of a normal brain scan. My neurologist looked at the 2 and agreed, I clearly had a brain injury. Ever since then, I haven't had problems getting help with it. But I doubt I'll ever get a Purple Heart. I couldn't talk right for weeks after. I couldn't walk right for over a year. I was constantly bumping into doorways and corners and furniture and such. I couldn't walk up and down stairs without using both handrails for over 2 years. I once fell down the stairs because the handrails were too far apart for me to reach both. I'd developed focal seizures and couldn't drive for many years. I developed Tourette's like tics. A neck tic was so bad I now have a bulging disc. A verbal tic, which I still get sometimes, has caused me to drop the F-bomb in church twice. I feel like I deserve a Purple Heart! But since me medical record says there was only 1 blast and it was so far away it sounded like a door slam, that will likely never happen. Oh well. At least I'm getting treatment...as much as they can do, at least. So that's better than nothing, I guess.

Sorry. I can be a bit verbose about that situation. I get pretty wound up about it!

Anyway, back to the other topic, thank you for thinking, and saying, such nice things about me.

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