Noticing Newbies

Hello all budding and veteran writers!

I am seriously thinking of writing my first novel and thought it would be good to get an idea whether my writing style is at least legible!

I've put a rough draft of my first chapter in my portfolio for you to peruse and give some serious criticism to. Specifically, whether my treatment of accents make it too hard to understand the character.

If you feel you can point me in the right direction, I would be very grateful.

Also making some friends who write here would be good to be a sounding board back and forth too.

Hit me up!