Weekly Goals

I guess you could say I met my objectives for the week for the most part. It was such a difficult thing, even though it was absolutely the right thing.
I feel hollow and numb one moment, and burst into tears the next. It isn't happening as often as the first two days.

I was so lucky to find a very amazing and compassionate veterinarian to come to my home. I think my fur baby knew she was here for him and knew why. He didn't bark at her at all. He sniffed her and then went back in the other room, where he laid down on his side and just stayed like that. So calm and relaxed. I sat where I could cradle his head on my lap and he gave me a quick kiss and relaxed again. Wow, did it tear me apart to lose him. I wish a shot could have returned him to vibrant health, but of course, I know that's not possible.

When it was over, I shared with the vet that earlier that day, I noticed his gums had a very odd coloration. She took a look at them and confirmed what I thought when I noticed it. The discoloration was caused by severe jaundice. He was going through advanced liver failure along with everything else, and the sad part is that is regular vet had never even noticed it. At this point, I felt even more awful for not having made the decision to put him to rest sooner.