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by ruwth Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Message Forum · Contest · #2213597
CONTEST: Write Five Paragraphs: an Introduction, three Key Points and a Conclusion.
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May 1, 2023 at 11:49pm
#3560148
Re: April Entry: Meditation
by s Author IconMail Icon
April Entry: Meditation by MST Author IconMail Icon
Comments/review as judge:
Following the form was okay:
- strong introduction
- 3 paragraphs that each focused on a different element
- conclusion that felt out of place
The conclusion didn’t really tie the three body paragraphs together and involved extra autobiography instead.
Technically, just a few things – Joyfully capitalised, misused periods in a couple of places – but generally fine.
You gave done an excellent job describing how to meditate. Comprehensive and comprehensible – well done.
It’s that ending )and the use of the term “knuckle heads”) that let this down.
4 stars
MESSAGE THREAD
April Entry: Meditation · 04-26-23 6:19pm
by MST Author IconMail Icon
*Star* Re: April Entry: Meditation · 05-01-23 11:49pm
by s Author IconMail Icon
Re: Re: April Entry: Meditation · 05-02-23 10:41am
by MST Author IconMail Icon

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