BoM/TWS Message Forum

I had a chance to look at the original comic. I wouldn't call it a "webcomic" per se, as I consider that a different medium - one that is constantly updating, with longer storylines. "The Five" is more of a one-shot, which is true given its nature as a commission - as far as I know, chronicstuss works as a commissioner of works where he makes the plots and has artists do the work.

(And I also found the place where you found it, Seuzz.)

To compare - the chapters cover the comic right at around the last five chapters, but it carries the theme of the story quite faithfully. Chronicstuss tends to write stories about body-snatchers or disguised assassins and is VERY NSFW. I did notice that the method to skin the victims changed, though, but the dialogue is extremely faithful.to the original.

Part of why chronicstuss's stories are so short and to the point is because the comic medium helps with that - the art covers up for the descriptions and all you need to do is focus on the dialogue and the story arc. For it to work as a mystery, it would've had to start with the five and then have the arc with the convicts appear as the last chapter - have the original five described, then have their personalities change, and then have the midpoint work as the reveal, twisting the knife into horror.

Hence, I don't believe that having the convicts reveal their motivation would hinder anything. Exposition can happen at any time. It can be drawn in pieces, then shown right at the end - The convicts at the cave, escaped, can be shown at first, but the bodysnatching isn't revealed at first. Just the knife and the pool - and nothing more. That keeps the mystery of the knife and the pool intact. Then, as the teens get replaced, add more elements - the itchy skin, the reference to skinning, the legend of the skinwalkers - and then at the end, just like in the comic, reveal the method when the last is replaced. It is possible to make a body snatcher story without making it too complicated - most skinsuit stories aren't, as they're mostly for smut.

(Unless you're German - and I don't mean the location, but the name.)

But, this isn't a story for us. This is a story for Sean, by "Sean", and setting the reveal at the very beginning is meant to lure him into watching. This is where the story-within-a-story works; it is meant to represent the writer within the story, so something like what I proposed isn't necessarily what Sean would do. This isn't Seuzz trying to make a story - this is "Sean" trying to make a story. As a plot device.

I will say, though - the chapters with the teens alone, without the changes, could be boring at times. I assume, though, it's because it's the same kind of writing as with horror movies; the purpose is to set them as targets, not as people to acquaint to, because they'll be off at some time soon. Things change when the swaps are made and the "girls" start acting without inhibitions, however, which is par for the course in these kinds of stories.

As I mentioned in the comments before, I believed I knew this story as I've seen chronicstuss's stuff before. I do know that he uses the concept of the yee naldhooshee (the Native American term for "skinwalker") somewhere else, but I can't seem to find it - it did trigger recognition in my mind, though.

Guess all that's left is to see where that leads - Will's trying to lure Sean into becoming a partner, and suggesting he has a way to "skin" people, or at least make swaps. Will he bite? And what about the skinwalkers in Cuthbert?