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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/handler/item_id/1349777-The-Creators-Castle
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by TSC Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR · In & Out · Comedy · #1349777
A Deity's Holy Castle....
The Land of The Creator...Welcomes you! This is my Castle, "Fort TSC", my realm if you will. Here you will have great adventures, many friends, and a rousing game of Liboschitzen ball! So what are you waiting for? GIT ON IN!

*Warning, this In and Out's may be hazardous to you, the user's, health. We at WDC highly suggest you get a full physical and mental checkup before proceeding much further. We at TSC's Realm are not held accountable for any and all of the following.

"Inprisonment, Small Pox, Laser Flogging, Small Animals attaching themselves to your legs, Pet albino Polar bears attacking, impregnation, regurgitation, constipation, reconciliation, nuns, Jahova's Witnesses, Crazy People, DBZ spinoffs, High Mortgage, wars, headaches, stuffy nose, erectile dysfunction, spitting, knitting, fitting, ditzy supermodles, Ugly Academics, french toast, Blueberry jam, pumpernickle loaves, sneezing, coughing, heartburn, nasua, indegestion, upset stomach, diarreaha, Giant robots, and any and all things having to do with The Imperium."

TSC thanks Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon For being crazy enough to hang out here, catty Author Icon For riding her lizard into all my battles, tangerinedream For being the only Gigantis around, pentatonic Author Icon For being weird enough to have the same handle as his user name, Summer... who's she again? Author Icon For being my Psudo-Sometimes-Every-now-and-again-WDC wife, captain.small For Always being there, even when nobody listions to his rants about The Chaos and the power of the Imperium, Draconic Knight Author Icon For being so neutral, The Unknown King Author Icon For being so secretive, dragon17 For being the best random drop in every now and again guy, and Mr Zaborskii Author Icon For being inflicted with every possible illness and torture to make this place (somewhat) safe for our guests.

You all earn Experience points.

Dad Author Icon says "what makes you think"

Dad Author Icon says "Darrell licked it?"

Dad Author Icon says "And who is Darrell any way?"

Singular Scribbler Author Icon says "Note to self: Do not anger ex-imaginary boyfriends. Thankfully, I'm still on good terms with most of mine and I haven't been spitefully licked since 2010."

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "That wasn't spiteful."

Dad Author Icon says "Nobody answered my question. Who is Darrell?"

Singular Scribbler Author Icon says "Says you! Only spite could motivate someone strongly enough to compel them to lick something as odd as this. Darrell is BBG's secret ex-imaginary boyfriend who may or may not have had a sex change depending on BBG's sexual preferences. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "BBG only has one sexual preference. If it's sex, he prefers it."

Dad Author Icon says "The actual statement should read, if it's sex, he prefers it. If the sex is often, he prefers it. If the sex is hard and fast and hot and heavy ... oops, I think he just got over excited."

catty Author Icon says "He does prefer it."

Singular Scribbler Author Icon says "What if it's bad sex? "

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "He prefers it... but not to good sex. Ooh, now you've thrown a wrench into the BBG logic machine. If he were here, you would fry his central processor, or send him into an infinite for loop, freezing whatever programs his brain was running."

Singular Scribbler Author Icon says "I love watching a guy get stuck in a for loop. All he can do is stand there and spazz until someone closes the program. "

Dad Author Icon says "*refuses to close the program*"

catty Author Icon says "FOR loop's sake, someone pass around the little sausage wienies and BBQ sauce!"

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "BBQ sauce coming right up! As for the sausage, this castle doesn't have a meat processing plant. You'll have to take your pick from the herd of swine outside. *Hands catty a machete* Happy hunting!"

Singular Scribbler Author Icon says "The thought of a cat dodging left and right amidst a herd of pigs is rather amusing. Moreso since that cat is attempting to brandish a blade at the same time."

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "It's like that cat in boots, isn't it? "Tenez encore, vous porcine ! Vous doit se sentir ma lame ! ""

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "*claps excitedly* "Way to go, French-speaker! I didn't understand it, but way to go!"

Dad Author Icon says "Oh, don't go giving Steve's ego a boost. His idea of speaking French is saying "Vavavoom" when he sees a pretty girl. By the say, according to my free translation service, it means Hold still, you swine! You must feel my blade."

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "I would love to be a dashing cat in leather boots and feathered cap who speaks French! https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/74/Pussboots.jpg"

Dad Author Icon says "There are 2 reasons you'd like to be that. 1) He has hair. 2) He is otherwise naked. You, sir, are a pervert. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "But one that speaks French, monsieur! Toutes choses sont possibles pour celui qui parle français ! "

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "*claps again, but softer because the novelty is wearing off* "One advantage is that cats don't have to watch their P's and Q's (their tiny tongues couldn't drink fast enough to get them drunk) so he'd never get kicked out a bar for drinking too much."

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "But one disadvantage immediately follows."

Dad Author Icon says "And it is that their tiny tongues couldn't drink fast enough to get them drunk"

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "The curse of the tiny tongue! Lucky dog with that big fat wet lick anything tongue! ... Dog lover: Someone who giggles when their dog licks their face even while being completely aware their dog also licks his unmentionables."

Dad Author Icon says "*realizes he is a dog lover, vomits*"

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Look on the bright side. You never know where a human tongue has been either. *Smile*"

Dad Author Icon says "*Tries to stick out his tongue and look at it at the same time, (not realizing there is a mirror in the next room), gets crick in neck from hell*"

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "From Hell, eh? You'd think you would have gotten the crick in the neck from trying to look at your own tongue. I guess I know nothing of these things."

Singular Scribbler Author Icon says "I like that we're ignoring the implication that a human tongue could come from having recently licked someone/thing's unmentionables. Kisses anyone?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Uh, no thanks, you have "unmentionables" breath. Care for a Tic-Tac?"

Singular Scribbler Author Icon says "I already have one. How do you think I got the "unmentionables" breath in the first place? It's a special edition."

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Tic Tac Privates... for when you want to give that "I've been around the block a few times" impression! Also try our new Tic Tacs For Pets... Dead Mouse for cats and "What Just Fell Out Of My Butt?" for dogs."

Singular Scribbler Author Icon says "Hahahahahaha. I'd buy that, just to have it. And anyone who came to my house would be shown my specialty tic-tac display. "

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "It would certainly explain a lot about your breath."

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Tic Tac Professor... for the breath that needs explaining."

Dad Author Icon says "While were on the subject of deodorizing products, Mom show me a deoderant in the store. Right next to the musk fragerance, there it was. The fragerance was "Natural." I said, "I put on, and smell like I woulda, without putting it on? Someone's a genius.""

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "For some reason, the first time I read that, "I woulda" definitely looked like Vodka."

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Understandable since that's what Dad smells like. In fairness to the NATURAL fragrance, I'm sure what it does is make you smell even MORE like you naturally do. It's like salt does for flavor, it enhances your natural aroma. It's the anti-Febrez."

Dad Author Icon says "That's ridiculous. I may be a drunk, but I never smelled like vodka. Cheap beer, bad rum, rotgut whiskey, bathtub gin maybe, but NEVER vodka."

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "Rum? Gin? Do you also wear an eye patch and terrorize random boaters?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "He likes to put on a wolf mask and go around the neighborhood threatening to "blow your house down"."

Dad Author Icon says "No, I subscribe to the Archie Campbell school of Rindercella. I approach good looking young women and threaten to "hoe their blouse down.""

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "Unexpected plot twist: the Creators' Castle is actually an asylum for the treatment of the hopelessly ironic."

Dad Author Icon says "At last! A home!"

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Treatment? I'd rather have mint treats. "

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "Ah! Irony! I wonder, if such an asylum existed, would it be filled with people who were not ironic in the slightest bit?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "That would depend on whether it was an ironic asylum for the treatment of the hopelessly ironic or whether it was an asylum for the ironic treatment of the hopelessly ironic. You have described the first case. In the second case it's just a place to live."

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "I... don't even know what to say to this. *starts clapping* Well played, my friend."

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Thank you. Should I speak some more French now? Oh, that ship has sailed, eh? Or as we say in zee old country: Ce navire a navigué!"

Dad Author Icon says "Damn it! Maintenant, j'ai de rechercher ce que vous venez de dire. C'est beaucoup plus à la recherche ! Et vous savez combien j'aime à faire de la recherche ! "

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "... *blinks* ... yes."

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Actually, the all-purpose "safe" answer is "maybe, but I need time to think about it". Just a stark "yes" can get you in trouble."

Mr Zaborskii Author Icon says "Steve... your wisdom exceeds words."

Dad Author Icon says "I've often called Steve a wise ass. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "There is a great Wikipedia article on donkeys and asses. Favorite line: "Donkeys have a notorious reputation for stubbornness, but this has been attributed to a much stronger sense of 'self preservation' than exhibited by horses." Heehee! Bam! Horses!"

Dad Author Icon says "I guess asses just need a better PR guy."

Singular Scribbler Author Icon says "There are only so many people willing to work for them. They're tough bosses. And they almost NEVER give a raise. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Season's Greetings, said the pepper shaker."

Dad Author Icon says "She bolted for the door, looking for assorted nuts."

catty Author Icon says "I'm just bolting the door to keep the nuts out!"

Dad Author Icon says "Mel Brooks stole it? "

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "Is the time stamp anything like the forever stamp?"

Dad Author Icon says "Then it fits here perfectly! *Delight* Our work here is done!"

catty Author Icon says "Well, there will always be the ghosts, lurkers and of course the one-night-stands."

catty Author Icon says "Unless they bought one night and got the second night free. Then it really wouldn't be a one-nighter. It would be a two-nighter. That's just below the average suspicious radar a one-night-stand would produce. Just sayin."

Dad Author Icon says "*nods* *wonders why Steve hasn't said anything*"

Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon says "I'm trying to stay just below the average suspicious radar."

Dad Author Icon says "Oh, hell, Steve. We're suspicious of you, regardless of what you do or do not do. We know you too well."

catty Author Icon says "Or not at all well. Which is it?"

Dad Author Icon says "No. We know him too well. At all is too well"

catty Author Icon says "Are we sure it's really him and not his clever clone? "

Dad Author Icon says "Steev? Clever? Hast thou lost thy mind?"

catty Author Icon says "You know I only ever found bits and pieces of it!"

Dad Author Icon says "It exploded?"

catty Author Icon says "Might have been eaten, could have exploded, probably fell apart."

Dad Author Icon says "Could someone have mistaken it for a marble and stolen it? Is that a possibility? That's what happened to mine, ya know."

catty Author Icon says "Could be a possibility. Could also be Martian in origin. But why are we dabbling in possibilities? We need certainties. "

Dad Author Icon says "I am certain there are unlimited possibilities!"

catty Author Icon says "I am certain that I always believe in myself. "

catty Author Icon says "I think I'm certain."

Dad Author Icon says "It's possible you are certain. It's certain there are possibilities."

catty Author Icon says "Of a certainty."

Dad Author Icon says "Maybe. (screams in horror) "

catty Author Icon says "Maybe. (Screams in horror)"

Dad Author Icon says "*Screams in horror* Uh, explain to me again why we're screaming. "

catty Author Icon says "Uncertain. **speculates**"

Dad Author Icon says "*wonders why catty fantasizes about her spectacles*"

catty Author Icon says "I secretly suspect a spectacle of spectacles would be spectacular!"

Dad Author Icon says "Shouldn't the group name for spectacles be a bifocal of spectacles?"

catty Author Icon says "A frame of mind which requires greater thought, I suspect this shall take some time."

Dad Author Icon says "A frame of spectacles is a good choice, too!"

catty Author Icon says "A very good choice. We need to tag Steeve, there aren't nearly enough posters in here. They seem to follow him as a tail would follow the dog."

Dad Author Icon says "I'll tag him! I'll tag him! May I please use a baseball bat to tag him?"

catty Author Icon says "User whatever you may wish, just as long as it's foam rubber."

Dad Author Icon says "You're no fun"

catty Author Icon says "I hardly ever am. "

Dad Author Icon says "Not what I've heard. 'Couese, I was the one spreading those scandalous stories "

Total Displayed: 100

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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/handler/item_id/1349777-The-Creators-Castle