Linericks

That story I'll never the same way view (Dad )

This morning, I got pulled over (Allan Charles )

Just because I was eating a Pavlova (deemac )

"Give me the delicacy. //. And I'll let you go free!' " (Dad )

"I'd rather," I said, "give it to Rover!" (Dad )

The wind blew me some luck today (Dad )

As a £10 note fluttered my way (deemac )

Need just small purchase so / hoping winds of change blow (Roscoe )

and deposit a chocolate parfait (Rhyssa )

as she stands on the corner and sings (Rhyssa )

She puts up with his catcalls and zings (Dad )

Then she hits a top C / And he has to go pee (deemac )

Distracted, she clubbed him and stole all his things. (DS )

On a tree, birds whistled a tune (Allan Charles )

The Dawn Chorus by Yorke I assume (Roscoe )

"I'm tryin' to sleep!" came a howl / From a disgruntled owl (deemac )

"Knock off the noise 'fore you go ka-BOOM! (Dad )

This Linerick starts, 'Once upon a time' (deemac )

I had two quarters, five nickels and a dime (Dad )

Though I know teeth will gnash / I now never use cash (Roscoe )

and I string my coins up for wind chimes (Rhyssa )

OT: Good idea! ☺️ (Roscoe )

Usta be, Son confiscated my change (Dad )

To confuse him, my change I would rearrange! (Dad )

I slipped in bright beads // and buttons and seeds (Rhyssa )

And the belly-button from a navel orange. (deemac )

On a beach somewhere in Thrace (deemac )

A big Greek guy kicked sand in my face (deemac )

My bad breath made him reel / (Nose his Achilles heel) (Roscoe )

Hmm? Was Halitosis maybe the name of the place? (deemac )

The cold-hearted orb that rules the night (Dad )

It removes the color from our sight. (Dad )

Feeling moody and blue / and sometimes heather too (Roscoe )

But the flute in the band sounds just right (Roscoe )

Hearken here, it's the sound of a flute (Rhyssa )

I hear an oboe and two piccolos to boot! (Dad )

a clarinet sings // then bring in the strings (Rhyssa )

A treble violin would be quite cute! (Dad )

They were sitting right there beside the wharf (Dad )

Three trolls eight gnomes and a dwarf (Dad )

Mused a troll, "Among us twelve / How come there's no elves? (deemac )

Elf & Safety team warned them all orf (Roscoe )

OT: Cockney pronunciation of 'Health' = Elf and 'off' = orf (at least in my opinion...) (Roscoe )

When mixing a big batch of fudge (Writer_Mike )

I was trying to read Barnaby Rudge (deemac )

But the pages kept stickin' s/o I yelled, What the Dickens! (deemac )

It's A Tale Of Glued Chitties, I judge (Roscoe )

So the astronauts can't come home 'til next year (Dad )

'Tis a long time to go without beer! (Dad )

Though that's true, there's no doubt / They'll be high and spaced out (Roscoe )

But it's true they are completely without pier. (Dad )

As the site partied Jane lit a cigar (H❀pe )

A Dutch Master she picked up at the bar. (Dad )

But she turned rather pale / For the stogie was stale (PCGuyIV )

And her drink was not up to par. (Dad )

"There once was a Limerick Forum"  (deemac )

For people who simply adore 'em (deemac )

For it I wrote a new one / approved by Seinfeld nemesis Newman (Dad )

But it lacks any sense of decorum. (PCGuyIV )

Finally the summer was over, (DS )

Orange leaves will soon cover the clover (Dad )

Finding one with four leaves / will some folk really please (Roscoe )

'Til they find it's been peed on by Rover. (deemac )

Oh somebody give that doggy a bone? (DS )

I've just called my butcher on the phone (deemac )

He says he's got numerous / D'ya want a femur or a humerus? (deemac )

I'm sure he would like either one. (PCGuyIV )

So decided to take both on loan (Roscoe )

Now poor dog's Eeny, meeny, miny, mo-in'. (deemac )

Fido's tracking the bone home by drone. (Dad )

I'm sure that he hopes, he could bury them both, (DS )

I'm sure if he could, both of them he'd clone! (Dad )

A coffee-hating trucker named Todd (Dad )

Said he couldn't see anything odd (Dad )

In tisane and a cake / when he stops for a break (Roscoe )

He beats all who argue with his rod. (DS )

There was an old lady from Chester (deemac )

Who scoots round on a Vespa, (DS )

"I simply adore my new scooter // had 'em make it outta pewter!" (Dad )

"Like the toboggan I ride in the Cresta." (deemac )

Plus the weight makes it great pothole tester? (Roscoe )

Trucker Todd called Vespa-lady 'Sue' (H❀pe )

Winked and proclaimed that she'd do, (DS )

So Sue sued the lad /For all that he had (deemac )

Fifteen cents and a banged up canoe (Rhyssa )

The Court cheered and gave standing ovation (H❀pe )

After the closing oration, (DS )

Hearing snores from the judge / Sue gave him a nudge (deemac )

Making him jump up and scream "Objection!" (DS )

At the end, when they thought that they won (Rhyssa )

They were shocked when he pulled out a gun, (DS )

"Listen up, you sad fools / This here Glock trumps the rules." (Roscoe )

He was rearrested for making an excruciating pun. (deemac )

As cook waited for her bread dough to rise (deemac )

She napped and dreamt of the size, (DS )

Her mouth salivated // as dream turned x-rated (H❀pe )

Must involve a baguette, I surmise (Roscoe )

While hammering a nail in the wall (deemac )

At a dress shop in the Scottsdale Mall (Dad )

Nail hit a wire, hair set afire, (DS )

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