Linericks

I go shopping at Aldi (Roscoe )

Walmart's scissors are priced a lot high-ya. (deemac )

But still less than those wigs I now buy ya. (Roscoe )

When Aphrodite lurked in her den, (DS )

A Greek god would drop by, now and then (deemac )

The absence of Adonis/ Would mean they're on a promise (Roscoe )

But with Vulcan she stays // And she never strays. (Dad )

Looks like she had more than her fair share of men! (DS )

A little old lady from Greece, (DS )

Kept a parrot, four hens and six geese (deemac )

She had plans for a pie // 'till they escaped to the sky, (DS )

This ending her hopes for a feast. (Dad )

Famished, she sought out a chef from France, (DS )

Will she Roux that same day, by perchance? (Roscoe )

Or perhaps she'd get sauce // if she requested in Morse, (DS )

Half a bottle of plonk / And her mind just went Blanc (deemac )

As on table she did Cancan dance (Roscoe )

Still hungry, and in a foul mood, (DS )

She bought a baguette from the food truck dude. (Dad )

He'd filled it with cheese // but, as she didn't say please, (DS )

Charged her double for being so rude. (deemac )

So stomping her feet like a child, (DS )

Her hissy fit really went wild (Dad )

She shouted, "Gimme a reason // why me you are not pleasin'." (Dad )

Can't you see how you've got me all riled?! (DS )

As I sit here and wonder where everybody's gone, (DS )

while eating a crab cake and a prawn. (Dad )

I wish they'd come back //. and bring the lobster I lack (Dad )

And wine, so we could dine like kings 'til dawn. (DS )

There once was a comic book letterer (Dad )

Whose ideas he thought were more betterer (Dad )

If only he'd read // That working from bed, (DS )

Woulda made him a betterer, letterer setterer. (deemac )

(Dad )

There once was a slippery old eel (deemac )

Who'd slipped many a fisherman's reel (Roscoe )

He said, "Whaddya bet // I can slip through his net!" (Dad )

Blindfolded - I'll do it by feel! (DS )

There once was a silly young nutter (Rhyssa )

Who couldn't tell margarine from butter (deemac )

If he spread them on toast / he'd like butter the most (Roscoe )

But said "Marge!" cuz B words made him stutter. (deemac )

A little old lady from Troon, (DS )

Fell in love with the Man in the Moon (deemac )

From down on her knees // said sir, if you please, (DS )

I'll polish your craters 'til June. (DS )

while reading in bed late one night (Rhyssa )

Heard two tomcats having a fight (deemac )

With a squirt from my hose // direct to it's nose, (DS )

I never discovered their plight (Dad )

Next morning I woke with a frown (deemac )

For my bed had been turned upside down (PCGuyIV )

The ceiling light's on the floor / and you know what is more (Dad )

My pajamas had been swapped for a gown. (DS )

On my way to grammar school (Dad )

I stopped off in the vestibule (Dad )

I was in a great mess // Had I dreamt that I dressed? (DS )

And why was I riding a mule? (Dad )

Oh, I guess I shouldn't have eaten that cheese... (DS )

Three Cheddar chunks and two Bries (deemac )

they tasted so good // but in all likelihood (Rhyssa )

I'll come down with a dairy disease. (deemac )

'Tis said that life's best things are free (deemac )

And bad things happen in three. (Dad )

I'm sure it'll be fine // to write this third line, (DS )

and hang any cost to me (Rhyssa )

On a pub crawl with me oul' mate, O'Shea (deemac )

We met a Martian who wished us "Good day!" (deemac )

Then the man from Mars. //. Started eating cars! (Dad )

which drove us pub-crawlers away (Rhyssa )

First limerick that I ever wrote (deemac )

Was based on a Shakespearean quote (deemac )

swift of wit wasn't hard // when I called on the Bard (Rhyssa )

Willie approved, but I shall not gloat. (Dad )

Is it t'holiday that kept writers away? (DS )

Did they find other word games to play? (deemac )

So they'll come back again. //. Should I offer them gin? (Dad )

Better not, in case rhymes go astray. (deemac )

A clumsy old baker played Rust, (DS )

His baguettes he dropped in the dust (Dad )

he said "five second rule" // and then set them to cool (Rhyssa )

Adding Multigrain seed sign I trust ... (Roscoe )

.Her cookies I expected to be delicious (Dad )

They turned out to be quite atrocious (Dad )

My esteem for her tumbled / in same way cookies crumbled (Roscoe )

'Twas sugar-caster-calorific-eggs-vanilla-docious! (deemac )

I'm gonna show off my handstand (Dad )

While appearing on American Bandstand (Dad )

Gonna knock them for six /with my breakdancing tricks (Roscoe )

My performance will make every fan stand. (deemac )

while learning to knit a wool sock (Rhyssa )

I was watching a film by Hitchcock (deemac )

I got Vertigo / looking out Rear Window (Dad )

Now my sock'd fit the ear of Mr Spock. (deemac )

Said I, 'the C-word' gets closer each day, (DS )

Presents for Grandkids for which I must pay. (Dad )

Video games is their cry / no cheap toy can I buy (Dad )

With luck, might be paid off by May. (deemac )

But first, a turkey we shall eat (Dad )

with stuffing and yeast rolls and sweets (Rhyssa )

Total Displayed: 100