You gaze at the most apparent hiding spots in the enormous diaper bag. There are two snack bags situated close to one another. One of them is a bag of gummy bears, filled with squishy, gelatinous candy golems each the size of ..well...bears compared to you. The other is full of cheerios. Both of these bags' contents are prone to getting emptied into the maws of unseen baby gods with little warning, a thought that sends shivers down your spine.
The diaper decoration bag seems more promising. The odds of its contents getting devoured are minimal. On the other hand, its contents are very obviously there only to get plastered onto the front or back of a diaper as some sort of novel decal. Perhaps a survivable fate, but your mind would likely never recover from the loss of dignity if you actually got affixed to the front of one. Regrettably, with few other options you are forced to entertain the possibility of the decoration bag serving as a fallback option should you fail to find a better hiding spot.
You decide to roam the contents of the diaper bag's interior in search of a better hiding spot, staggering from the sporadic shaking of the purse. You make your way across a baby wipe dispenser until you arrive at an enormous bottle of milk. Your mind boggles at the implications. The bottle is practically a small lake at your tiny size. Could such a vast quantity of fluid really have come from the mother's teat? You briefly imagine yourself resting upon her breasts, before you're hit with the thought that this very well could be the milk of a cow. Intrusive thoughts of your tiny life being ended by an unthinking bovine briefly fill your mind, only for you to come to the conclusion that being smothered by the woman's bosom would likely be just as lethal.
As you're lost in thought, a sudden shift of the purse sends the milk bottle rolling towards you, threatening to crush you under its mass. You dive off of the wipe bag and manage to just barely avoid getting crushed beneath the bottle. You quickly get back up onto the wipe bag, only for the milk bottle to roll back towards you. You swiftly hop back off of the wipe bag as the bottle passes over you once more. No sooner than it passes by, however, does the purse shift to the side, sending the baby wipe pack careening over towards the edge of the bag. Not wanting to get trapped you scramble atop it and run forward, nearly slipping into the dispenser's opening in the process. You shudder to think of what would happen were you to get stuck in there.
It is becoming apparent that at your size the diaper bag's interior has practically become a warzone simply because of the woman's careless handling of it. This frantic struggle does not abate any time soon. The stuffed bunny rabbit suddenly lurches forward, almost as if propelled by something other than gravity, and allows one of its plush limbs to smash down right beside you. Realizing that the bunny is likely not prone to fall again, you climb on top of it and cling to its back like your life depends on it.
And on the back of that bunny, you ride out the rest of the woman's journey shaken but intact.
That is, until one final shake rocks the diaper bag. You are sent tumbling off of the rabbit , landing on one of the chains of plastic animals affixed to a string with an oof. Thankfully you manage to endure the fall despite feeling a little dazed. But as you lie there groggily atop the plastic creatures, you begin to get a bad feeling about what's about to happen next. Turning your gaze up, your suspicions are quickly confirmed as the pink and white diaper topples over and smashes onto your tiny form, a cute cartoon puppy serving as the last thing you see before your life is extinguished beneath a wall of padding.
You wake up not to the gates of heaven or the flames of hell, but to an awkward tickling sensation in your right ankle. Was this all a dream? Perhaps a simulated training mission run by the Agency? You would hope it's the former, as you'd rather not have to live down the humiliating of failing a training simulation because a diaper crushed you.
The tickling sensation moves up along your leg. Sleep paralysis? No.. this feels nothing like that. Something is brushing against your leg. A distinctly feminine yet unfathomable voice rings through your ears. You begin trying to speak and are met with silence and the intoxicating scents of lotion and cleaning agents. You realize that you can barely breathe. A snake. That's it. It must be a snake running along your body and choking you. But the forces around you are more than you are capable of overcoming, and your body is too numb to put up a concerted effort to escape. You feel the snake make its way past your pants and up your chest, and promptly pass out once more.
You come to again to a flurry of motion, accompanied by loud gurgles and the same feminine voice from before. "Hold still, baby. You don't want to go without your teething necklace." Baby? You had entertained many possible afterlives, but neglected the possibility that you would be reincarnated. You writhe about as best you can, only to realize that your body is not really equipped to move all that much.
Suddenly you're hit with a burst of movement. Your body passes over a forest of fuzz, brushing right through the fuzzy wall, a tickling sensation flooding your body once more before it calms down again. You find yourself resting against a caramel colored wall and getting shaken this way and that. Gurgles and giggles burst out from above, and the wall behind you begins to reverberate. The feminine voice booms once more , speaking out over even the thunderous laughter. "There we go aaand let's give you a diaper check. Well look at you, girl. All clean! For now. Now get up and play with your brother." Girl? What exactly is going on?
You begin to survey your surroundings. You appear to be in a living room of some sort, though you're not quite sure why a brownish wall is behind your back. You are lying sideways in a remarkably awkward posture. Off in the distance, a brown skinned baby boy clad in just a disposable diaper is meandering around, pushing a toy construction vehicle around with both of his arms. You notice the design on the diaper is ominously familiar. It's the same as one of the one in the diaper bag.
You hear a series of thuds as you are turned towards a sliding glass door connecting to a backyard. As you approach the door, you first catch a glimpse of a white furred poodle running about and pouncing at the air, swiping its paws at a butterfly. And then, getting closer still to the door, you catch the reflection of a brown skinned baby girl clad in just a diaper. Actually, she's wearing just a bit more. She has a necklace around her neck. A colorful with many different beads. Animal shaped ones, actually.
It is then that you put two and two together and realize exactly what is going on. While you were knocked out, the woman must have assumed you to be a stray piece of one of her babies' teething necklaces. Shifting around and using the reflection as a reference, you confirm your worst fears. The woman must have slid the teething necklace's thread through the bottom of your pants leg, then up through the bottom of your shirt and out through one of its arms. You are nestled nicely between a pair of plastic monkeys. You fit right in. So much for being a super spy... You're just another teething bead on her necklace now!
The baby girl slams one of her grubby palms against the back door and gazes out into the back yard, looking at the poodle and the butterfly with a hint of wonder and jealousy. She wants the pretty buggy. She wants to hold it and claim it as her own. To have this mysterious thing that is out of reach and call it hers. A very human desire, to be sure. Little does she know that she has already claimed full custody of an incredibly rare living, breathing ant-sized man as her property.
Fixated on the butterfly, the girl grips at the teething necklace and brings it up to her mouth. with your body resting below her chin, there is a very real risk that you might wind up crammed into her mouth and gnawed to death by her developing teeth. The girl lifts the front of the necklace up and plunges it into her mouth, running her teeth around the durable little animal beads. By some miracle you wind up dangling to the side of her mouth rather than getting shoved into the darkness to be gnawed upon.
You hear the sounds of her teeth crunching upon the necklace, the developing teeth made terrifying in their power thanks to the vastness of the girl's body Eventually content with her chewing, she allows the slobbered-on necklace to land on her belly, the scent of her drool hanging in the air around you. The girl, still unaware of your presence, picks at her nose and rubs a booger half the size of your body off onto another part of the necklace, then returns to her silent contemplation.
After about a minute of this, she is distracted by her brother suddenly pushing the vehicle right behind her back. Deciding it better to play with him than look outside, the girl turns and focuses on the vehicle, sitting atop . Her brother, amused by the prospect of the challenge, begins to struggle to push it forward with the girl now sitting atop it. Once more she brings the necklace up to her mouth, once more narrowly missing chomping down upon your body. As it stands now, it is very likely that it's only a matter of time before you are chewed to a mulch by the girl's teeth.
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