This choice: "I learned new daddy's name!" • Go Back...Chapter #5The Epic Battle of David Vs. Goliath Continues! by: Aerodeth   Are you ready to hear what may very well be the worst thing you would EVER want to hear come out of your daughter's mouth? Even worse than "I'm pregnant!"?
"I learned my new daddy's name!"
"That's nice, dea-........................huh?" Know what youre thinking. Youre thinking: 'Did she just say NEW DADDY?' She did. You better hope to God she mistook that phrase and meant to say "I learned my daddy's new name!" You would way rather be permanently referred to as 'Daddy-doll' for the rest of your life than what you might THINK she meant!
You caught a glimpse of your son constantly swaying his arms and shaking his head, mouthing 'No!' Something's going on.
Nonetheless, you take a deep breath and try to keep your cool, "Um... did you just say you've learned your 'new daddy's name?"
Jenny nodded her head, "Uh huh! His name is Albert. Albert Gigante! That's Spanish for 'Giant'!" Albert Gigante?! Why does that name ring a bell?!
"JENNY! STOP!!!" your son screamed. Unfortunately, Jet was the smart one.
"He's really smart and really big!" Jenny exclaimed, "He's like a giant science guy at a grown-up school" She probably means professor at a college, but what's she mean by giant? "Mommy said he's very fun with play with in his bedroom! Sometimes they play for hours!"
WHAT?!! SON OF A BITCH!! Some guy's been messing around with your wife?! You'll kill him... if you were just a couple feet taller. And even then, he'd probably step on you! You now remember hearing about this Albert Gigante on the news. He's some hot-shot professor at a prestigious college that's been studying a treatment for some special disease he has that's very similar to yours. What's it called? 'Paul Bunyan Syndrome'?
Isnt it that disease where the victims tend to grow abnormally big, up to 18-20 feet tall?
Ouch.
Your wife's been cheating on you with that? That's like Tom Thumb's wife leaving him for Godzilla! This cant be happening!
Jenny continued, "Mr. Albert's gonna be at mommy's book club... then he's gonna read her bedtime story. Uh... what's it called again? Ka...Kama....Kame... Kamasu...."
"OK! THAT'S GREAT, HONEY!" you cut her off. Perhaps you better start questioning the smarter and much smaller twin about this, "Uh.. Jenny, I think I heard someone at the door! Would you be a dear and go check who it is?" Thankfully, she didnt even bother saying she didnt hear a knock, "Sure daddy-doll!"
With that, she jumped off, almost bouncing you and Jet off the floor and rushed out of the room. Your head's gonna explode any minute. How the hell could your own wife do this to you?! And with a PBS man, no less! Sure the both of you were having a few fights recently, but... oh lord, do you want to murder someone! 'Calm down, Steve. Blood pressure. Blood pressure'!
You looked toward your son, shivering and shaking as if he has something to hide. "How long has this been going on?" you ask him without venting your anger.
"N-n-n-not long!" Jet replied, J...just a month!"
'JUST A MONTH'?! "A MONTH?!" you screamed out, almost causing your son to flinch. You dont wanna scare him anymore than he already is, so you take another deep breath and sigh, "Why didnt you ever tell me this?"
"M-mommy made me promise not to tell you!" he replied, "I-Im sorry daddy! A...a...are you mad?!"
"Im not mad. Im fine. Im..just....perfectly fine, I-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!" you shouted at Jenny's little Ken doll she never remembers to pick up before punching it so hard you knock the head right off it's body! It had a genitalia, you'd be ripping it out right now!
"A....are you and mommy gonna have a divorce?" you kid asks you. You dont answer him. You just shrug, try not to think about it and change the subject. "Uh... let's see what else is on!"
You pound your foot on one of the buttons of the remote control, changing the channel. Good ol' Boob-Tube. Surely IT wont turn on you, too! What's on?   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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