Greg put the phone back to his ear, hoping he wasn't disconnected. A live operaor would be nice Greg figured, he wasn't looking for much, he just wanted to know what this 'Weight Gain Hotline' was all about. But who know how long the wait would be, and Susan had breakfast ready now...and his stomach was ready now, as its hungry gurgling was insistently telling him.
"The recording is fine," Greg said. Immediately the perky voice replied, "Great! I love it when people want to listen to me. So, let me personalise my message for you a bit. Are you male or female?"
"Male."
"Married or single?"
"Married."
"Already fat, or not fat?"
"Already fat."
"And looking to gain more! You sound like my kind of man, big boy - too bad you're already married. Now, tell me, you have the phone in one hand, do you have food in the other hand? Yes or no?"
"No."
"Is there food within reach? Yes or no?"
"No."
"Awe, big guy, how are you going to gain weight if you don't have food handy? C'mon! Now, I'll tell you what. You go get some grub - something to really fill that man-sized gut of yours, fill it so it gets BIGGER - and then call me back. Use our special line for big guys like you - 555-6789. Now go, and hurry back to me...hang up now."
Greg, dazed but also hungry, hung up. He headed downstairs, his tummy rumbling and grumbling. Susan looked up at him and asked, "Who was on the phone?"
Greg replies, "Well, I tried to call in for a free grill in a contest, but I got...
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