I said goodbye to Dmitri outside the Burger Place, swinging my messenger bag over my shoulder as I set off down the street. It was my first day of work at one of the buffet restaurants in town, but since I'd been interviewed over the phone, I'd never actually been. It was called the Hesper Pizza Company, and although I'd heard of it, I'd never actually been. We preferred a barn-like establishment called the Kitchen for our buffet needs, and had never branched out.
It turned out to be a smaller place than the cavernous kitchen, I found as I turned into the street. I passed diners in the window booths happily chowing down and entered via the wide double doors a bustling, homey-looking place that smelled of baking dough and spicy meats. There were people at tables all around eating pizza to their hearts' content, but what I couldn't see were the buffet tables. Was this the right place?
I was wondering about this when my attention was distracted by a girl standing a little way away. She was tall, dark-haired and curvy, dressed in a black pencil skirt and tights and a black blouse, but she was squeezed into his outfit like a sausage. Her skirt, which came to mid-thigh, was so tight it produced an amazing muffin-top inside the blouse, jiggling with every step. As she turned to walk towards me, I saw that the blouse buttons were under heavy stress, little diamonds of belly visible whenever she moved, and the ones at bust level looked as though they could fly off at any moment. It was already unbuttoned quite a way, showing a hint of lacy red bra and a lot of deep, honey-coloured cleavage. Her face was every bit as gorgeous as her body. 'Welcome to the Hesper Pizza Company, sir,' she said, pushing her glasses up her perfect nose and handing me a menu. 'Table for one?'
'Um, no,' I said, 'sorry, I'm supposed to be working here today? My name's Conrad Greene.'
'Oh, of course!' said the girl brightly, and shook me by the hand. 'I'm Andi,' she said, pointing to the nametag pinned on her left breast, which I took some time to examine.
'Conrad,' I said, a little dazedly. 'I said that. Um, what do I do?'
'Well, the first thing we have to do is get you into a uniform,' she said. 'Come with me, I'll introduce you around.'
We went through to the back, finding a huge kitchen, the walls lined with ovens, and waiters and waitresses in black coming in and out for the goods, sometimes piling several pizzas on top of each other. Some of the pies were huge, too; I swear I saw one that must have been four feet across, being carried by two guys. I also couldn't help but notice that most of the staff were also on the larger side, much like Andi. She led me into another room, lined with lockers, where a guy about my age was getting changed.
'Conrad, this is Nicky, he's one of the wait staff here. Nicky, could you show Conrad his locker and get him sorted out with a uniform? I should really be getting back to the front.'
'Sure thing, Andi,' said Nicky cheerfully. He was completely shirtless, but neither he not Andi seemed bothered by this. Although he had quite skinny arms, above his black trousers there bulged this huge bowling-ball gut. At first it looked quite firm, but as he reached over to shake my hand I saw it wobble like crazy, along with the sizable man-boobs that rested on top of it. I tried not stare, and the guy seemed not notice or mind. 'Good to meet you,' he said, letting go of my hand and reaching for his shirt. 'Nicky Blake.'
'Conrad Greene,' I said. As he buttoned up his shirt, I realised I was sorry to see the belly go; I was bizarrely fascinated with the way it shifted and jiggled. Nickly struggled to get the buttons done over it, and when he tucked the shirt in around his waist band, the black-clad bulge stuck out over his belt quite a way. Nicky patted it happily, and, showed me to my locker.
'This is yours,' he said, opening it and handing me out a uniform. 'You'll be working as a waiter, like me.'
'Really?' I said. "I thought this place was all-you-can-eat – what do we need waiters for?'
'It's all-you-can-eat, not an all-you-can-eat buffet,' Nicky explained. 'They don't get up out of their seats, they just keep ordering from us, as much as they want. It's our job to keep them fed.' He looked down pointedly at the uniform in my hands. 'Are you going to put it on, or...?'
'Oh, sure,' I said, trying to shrug off my embarrassment as being asked to undress in front of a total stranger.
'It's a pretty good job, though,' said Nicky. 'There are some great perks.'
'Like what?' I asked. I'd provided my clothing sizes, so it shouldn't have surprised me that the clothes fit well, but it was surprising me how well. If Nicky's size was standard, I'd have had a lot of spare fabric.
'Well, the free food is a pretty major one,' said Nicky.
'Oh, you get to take pizza home at the end of the day?' I said, buttoning up the shirt, which was also nice and snug.
'Not just that,' Nicky grinned, 'it's unlimited. All you can eat, that goes for the staff, too. We're supposed to be completely familiar with the menu at all times, so we get as much pizza as we want. And a half-hour meal break every two hours to catch up on menu research.'
'Seriously?' I was impressed. It was starting to become obvious where Nicky's gut had come from... I wondered... 'How long have you been working here, then?' I asked him.
He seemed to realise where I was coming from, because he laughed and slapped his belly again before answering, 'About six weeks.'
'Six weeks? So –'
'Oh, yeah,' said Nicky, his eyes glinting. 'All this is since I started working here. I was as skinny as you at the beginning of the summer.' He laid a hand on my shoulder. 'Trust me. You're going to love it.'
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