One day, while Sasha was at work, I was sitting outside Queen Penguin Ice Cream. Unlike a lot of places, they hadn't widened their doors – the narrow storefront couldn't take it – so they always reserved one of their street tables for me out front. These were long metal picnic-style tables with a bench on each side; usually these held four teen girls per bench, gossiping over a scoop of vanilla, but my enormous ass flowed over the entire width of my side and my immense gut rested its lower mega-roll over my gelatinous thighs and the rest atop the table, taking valuable space from the dozens of elaborate sundaes, footlong banana splits and straight-up tubs of ice cream that covered every other inch of it.
Sasha had a half-shift today, so she'd left me for a few hours at a place she knew could handle me when I was eating at full speed and volume – which these days I always was. A pair of gigantic custom-ordered stretch shorts was doing its best not to shred off my elephantine rump, whose quivering motions whenever I even slightly adjusted my position were forming small tears where my mostly-useless legs, entombed in blubber, spilled out. Sasha liked to see me pop a button every now and again, so I was wearing a shirt too: a circus-tent Hawaiian number with two reinforced buttons still holding on for dear life over my moobs.
I was just clearing out the bottom of a salad-bowl sized chocolate fudge sundae when I heard someone call my name. I turned my head, my chins following at their own leisurely, jiggling pace, and saw three of my friends crossing the street toward me – Dmitri, Celeste, and Rebecca. I hadn't seen any of them since I'd started at PolyBurger; the new lifestyle I'd become accustomed to didn't leave much room for "normal" socialising.
"Conrad? Is that you?" Celeste's mouth hung open in astonishment, while Rebecca's eyes were as wide as saucers. Dmitri, between them, strode over, staring at my mountainous body.
"Yep!" I said, pulling a tub of mint chocolate chip towards me and putting a large scoop into my waiting mouth. "The very same!"
"I'm not so sure about that," said Dmitri. "Rebecca said it was you, but I thought she was crazy... Jesus, dude, how is this even possible? And I thought I'd gained weight!"
It took me a moment to realise what he was talking about, but sure enough, Dmitri had put on some pounds and was now closer to 300 than 200, a round belly sticking out the bottom of his t-shirt. However, he was still pretty normal-human-sized compared to the blimp of flab I'd become, and it was hard to wrap my head around the fact that he'd once been my fat friend.
"So, uh... what have you been up to?" Celeste asked, as the three of them sat down across from me. She looked a little bulkier too, although her wardrobe hadn't changed, so her summer dress was straining to contain her breasts and riding up to the top of her thighs.
A small earthquake of laughter made me jiggle so much the metal table made a noise like theatre thunder. "Uh, well – EATING, I guess!" After a few more huge scoops of nice cream, when the fat-quake had stopped and I'd caught my breath, I explained, "I got this job at that place – you know, PolyBurger? When I started, they didn't think I was fat enough, so they gave me some time to catch up." I squeezed one of my side-rolls. "Guess I kinda overshot the mark, huh?" While they processed this, I finished the mint-chocolate-chip and dived into another sundae. "I kinda got fired round about the time I hit a half-ton. Ironic, huh?"
"So what are you doing now?" Rebecca ventured, blushing scarlet. She was the same stick-thin girl she'd always been; you could probably fit four of her into a pair of Sasha's tightest leggings.
I shrugged, causing another seismic lard event to ripple down from my shoulder-fat through my moobs, making the buttons tense. "More eating!"
"Stupid question," Dmitri said with an astonished grin. "But, dude – how do you even get around? Can you WALK?"
"Not far," I chuckled. "My girlfriend takes me most places in her truck."
"Your girlfriend?" Celeste asked, her eyebrows arching with interest. 'What's she like?"
"You guys might know her, actually – ever been to AFT? She works there."
"Oh, yeah, I've eaten there once or twice," said Dmitri, then paused. "Wait, you don't mean that girl with the HUGE ass, do you?"
"That's her," I nodded. "Her name's Sasha – she pretty much lives with me now."
"Wow!" Dmitri, leaned back, impressed. "Well, not to underestimate the charms of your personality, man, but... I've got to assume she's into big guys, huh? Like, REALLY big guys?"
"Dmitri!" Celeste gave him a shocked look and Rebecca blushed a deeper crimson, but I gave another table-shaking belly-laugh.
"Yeah, pretty much! She pretty much sets it all up for me, so I just have to think about eating."
"So," Celeste said slowly, "not having a job, not being able to move, people staring – none of that bothers you?"
"Hell no!" I scoffed. "I don't need the money, and where do I have to go? As for people staring, well, this is a pretty impressive gut! I'd probably stare too." I dug five sausage fingers into the mountain of rolls and gave it a slow, avalanching jiggle.
Just then, Kate, the tall, curvy waitress who tended to cover "Conrad duty" when I was here, came out to deposit a few more sundaes on the table and clear my empty bowls and tubs away. "Enjoying yourself, sweetie?" she winked.
"Yep, keep 'em coming!" I smiled back, balancing an obscenely vast tub of Rocky Road on my belly and licking my lips.
"Damn, she's cute," said Dmitri as Kate went back inside. "I might go and place and order myself..."
Celeste got up to follow him. "Watching you eat is making me hungry!" she joked as I shovelled the chunky ice-cream into my fat face. "I'd ask you what's good but I think the list might be too long..."
Once the two of them had disappeared, Rebecca wasted no time in getting up and coming round to my side of the bench. I turned to face her, startled.
"Listen, Conrad," she said, "I didn't want to say this in front of the others, but..."
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