You didn't want to draw too much attention to yourself, in case, by some miracle, this thing worked.
You switched the penis switched to on, pointed the remote at youself, and hit the "up" button.
Nothing came out of the remote, but you felt your pants slowly filling up with more of your own penis, as it snaked its way into a ball within his boxers.
It worked exactly like a TV remote. No crazy flash, no magical beam. You look around, to make sure no one was watching, then look into your pants, and you see your flaccid penis, which was twice as long as it normally was flaccid.
You then push the down button, and his penis shrunk back to normal. Even when you continued to hold down the shrink button, your penis didn't go below the size it was when it first started.
You then switched the muscle and height switches on, pointed it at yourself, and slowly you grew.
You inched taller and taller, and his muscles filled out all over his body, and his penis slowly swelled again, filling all your clothes in all directions.
You stopped, only gaining 2 inches in height. You didn't want to draw too much attention to himself...yet. You then switched off all the switches, and turned on the breast switch. You needed to test it, so you aimed it at yourself for a second, and fired. And you sprouted tiny breasts.
"Gross..." You think. You point the remote away from you and hit reset, and nothing happened. You thought that the reset button would reset everything that remote effected, but it would only reset what you were pointing to.
You point it at yourself and hit reset, and you shrink down to normal.
You can't help but smile..