Giant Jared explains to you that his buddy paul is coming over for a beer soon, and you've been purchased as a gift for the Hollywood hunk; a small gesture between buddies.
"But I'm a human being!" you argue, still not aware of how little that means to the egotistical men you've been captured by "you can't buy and sell humans!!"
Jared laughs, and says genuinly, "Ah, you're cute. Paul's going to love you."
Leaving you with this, Jared stuffs you back into the box until his buddy, Paul Rudd comes knocking at the door. After the two have sat down, cracked a few beers and talked for a while, Jared produces the box you're trapped in and hands it to Paul, who has come dressed in a sexy denim jacket, jeans and boots with a snow white T-shirt underneath.
"I heard you saying you were thinking about buying one of these things, so I thought I'd help you out." he says as Paul unwraps the box. "The guys I ordered it said he's one in top condition."
The lid to your prison is opened, and you see the gleaming face of actor Paul Rudd looming over you. "Wow, you were right about him being in top condition, this little guy's beautiful!" Paul says in awe, taking your trembling body into the palm of his hand.
"Whoah," Jared laughs "It's not like you're gonna marry him! He's just a little pet to shine your shoes and jack you off when you're bored. "
"Sure, sure." Paul says, casually throwing you down on the coffee table and resting his massive boots by your side. "Well, thanks buddy, he's just what I wanted."
The guys talk for a little while longer, leaving you to watch the intimidating giants from Jared's coffee table, wondering what your life from now on is going to be like..
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