Chell slowly awoke to find herself imprisoned in a glass cube, about the size of a jail cell.
"Good morning, test subject. How are you feeling?"
"I--"
"Fantastic. We are going to begin testing in 3...2...1..."
And then, suddenly, a slice of cake was sitting in the middle of the room.
"...what's that?" asked Chell.
"It is cake."
"Why is there cake?"
"Cake is the test."
"oh...so, hah, I guess you could say the test is a PIECE OF CAKE?"
"THAT IS NOT FUNNY STOP TALKING NEVER TALK."
"I talk alot though."
"I didn't expect you to. Eat the cake."
"No."
"What, seriously? Please. Come on now. It is cake. You know, I had another test idea where you had to earn cake. Portal were involved. But then, I decided, no, let us play nice. Let there immediately be cake. So there is immediately cake. Life can be beautiful."
"Is it good?"
"It's great. It was made by science, for humans. Science and humans working together. The American dream."
"I've got a bad feeling about eating this."
"Oh, so you have a good feeling about starving to death in a glass cube? Because that is what will happen if you don't eat the cake."
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