Walking through the woods one day, I found a can sticking out of the ground. Ha! I thought. Mom said Granny Shull didn't hide any money back here but maybe she did! My husband and I joked about getting metal detectors to find cans of buried money since the economy went bust.
Pulling the can out the lid falls off and spills out sparkling dust. That's odd. I take a whiff to see if I can identify the powder. As I do, I hear my parrot scream from his cage by the window. Some of the powder goes up my nose just as I look up at him.
Poof! All of a sudden, I feel strange. Everything looks funny, like there are more colors. Glancing around I wonder, where am I? Are those bars in front of me? Looking down, I'm surprised to see bright gold feathers. It takes a moment but all of a sudden it hits me.
I turned into my parrot. That joke I always tell came true. I always told him on Monday mornings that I wished I could be him and he could be me. I got my wish. Now I get to be a lazy bird all day and HE gets to be a 33 year old administrative assistant in a busy office. Ha! Triumphant, I cluck at my "Mommy" as she locks me in the cage for the day and climb in the back for a nap. Ah, wonderful freedom! I always dreamed of sleeping in on a weekday.
I wake up with the sun a bit higher in the window. My belly is growling, but due to my small size, it comes out as a buzz. I crawl to the food bowl but there's nothing there but fruit pellets. Good grief, no wonder he begs for popcorn every night! These pellets don't have much flavor at all! I eat, chew up a wood toy, bob my head to a song on the radio, preen my feathers, and finally realize I'm bored out of my mind. Looking out the window, I realize it can't be much later that mid-morning or early afternoon. Sighing as well as a bird can. I settle in the back for another nap before a hole in a toy catches my eye. Hmm, that's unsettling. I better fix that. I chew for a while and clean up the untidy toy, disentigrating it into a heap of colorful wood shards in the bottom of the cage.
I look around for anything else that might need a good chewing, but can't find anything. This cage is alright, but it's small and I'm ready to get out of here! Not gonna happen until my "parents" get home. Good grief, what time is it? Midday? I'm bored out of my mind! I stare out of the window at the wild birds pecking at the feeder with envy. At least they can get out during the day! Hey, I wonder if my beak is sharp enough to open that lock?
Not quite. They humans outsmarted me. Exhaused from my snack, grooming, playing and pondering, I crawl to the back of the cage for another nap. I'll need my energy when they get home! I snooze until I hear the garage door go up. A car pulls in, the garage door closes, and I hear the familiar beep of the alarm system letting me know that nap time is over. I call out.
"Mommy's home!" I hear. Feet thump up the stairs and Mommy appears with a handful of dust. She takes me out of the cage and holds the dust to my nares.
"Breathe it in fellow. I get it now. Your job sucks!"
I cackle and inhale. Being a parrot isn't all it's cracked up to be either.
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