In the Hidden Leaf Village, there has been a dreadful drought. Now, the government enforced a mandate that banned private restrooms in favor of public amenities. However, in order to use them, one must first pay the fee. If you refuse-well, who am I kidding? You'd be a fool to fight with the ninja running these toilets. One of these toilets was being run by Team Kakashi members Naruto and Sakura, Public Amenity #9. It is at this said amenity that one of the poor is begging for a free pee. This citizen was Konohamaru, the third Hokage's grandson.
"Please, Sakura! Just this once! I'll pay you back tomorrow!" Konohamaru pleaded.
"That's what you said yesterday," Sakura replied.
"C'mon, Naruto! Reason with the woman!"
Naruto sighed and turned to Sakura.
"Sakura, why does it matter if he pays or not?" Naruto inquired.
"It doesn't! In the name of God, Sakura, what difference does it make!?" Konohamaru was just about to burst,
Sakura was fed up with Konohamaru's whining.
"What difference!?" Sakura retorted.
(cue vamp)
" 'Times are hard'
'Our cash is tight'
'You've got no right'
I've heard it all before
'Just this once'
Is once too much
Cause once they've onced
They'll want to once once more
I run the only toilet
In this part of town, you see
So, if you've got to go
You've got to go through me
It's a privilege to pee
Water's worth its weight
In gold these days
No more bathrooms
Like in olden days
You come here and pay a fee
For the privilege to pee
Twenty years we've had the drought
And our reservoirs have all dried up
I take my baths now in a coffee cup
I boil what's left of it for tea
And it's a privilege to pee
The politicians in their wisdom saw
That there should be a law
The politicians taxed the toilets
And made illegal
Public urination and defecation
So, come and give your coins to me
Write your name here in the record book
The authorities will want to look
If you've been regular with me
If you've paid the proper fee
For the privilege to pee."
"Sakura, he's my best friend! Doesn't that mean something?" Naruto asked.
"Get your head out of the clouds, Naruto! No one gets in for free!" Sakura yelled.
(Sakura resumes singing)
"You think you've got some kind of right?"
"Kind of right, kind of right!" The Poor sang.
"You think you'll come in here and go for free"
"Snag a freebie!"
"The only thing you'll get it 'no' for free!"
"Negatory!"
"I'm a business gal, you see"
"Business gal you see!"
"I sell the privilege to pee!"
"It's a privilege to pee"
"The good Lord made us
So we'd piss each day
Until we piss away
The good Lord made sure
That what goes in men
Must soon come out again
So you're no different then
From lowly me."
"Me
Lowly me
Lowly me
Lowly me
Lowly me!"
As the poor sing, Naruto once again tries to reason with Sakura.
"But Sakura-"
However, Konohamaru sees no point in continuing to reason with Sakura.
"That's enough, Naruto." He interjects before Sakura begins singing again.
"And I'll think I'll charge you twice."
"No need to jeopardize your position." Konohamaru states.
"Or better yet, have you arrested!"
"I'm through with all of this, you see?"
"Since you prefer the law gets tested."
"Scrapin' cash three times a day."
"And in Urinetown you'll see."
"Crazy with nitrates half the time."
"Why it's dumb to fight with me."
"It's no way to live, I tells ya! No way to live!" Konohmaru charges at Sakura.
Sakura pins Konohamaru down.
(music pauses, Sakura sings unaccompanied)
"For the privilege, to, pee!"
(Music comes back in, two bar rest for vocals)
"Wah! Wah!" The poor sang.
"WAH!" Sakura and the poor sang.
As they sang this, a wet spot began to appear on Konohamaru's pants.
"Ah, much better," Konohamaru sighed.
Sakura jumped up off of the boy.
"Disgusting!" Sakura yelled.
She then sighed.
"Go home and clean yourself up. Urinetown's the least of your worries right now."
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