Chapter #10Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down! by: Seuzz   You drop into a chair opposite Eileen and Joshua. "So," you say, searching for small talk. "You guys were all out at the soccer meet today? How was that?"
"It was okay if you're into that kind of thing," Eileen says. She's slumped back in her seat and has her phone up in front of her, though she doesn't seem to be paying it much attention. "Go on, ask us who won."
"We did," Joshua promptly replied. "Five four."
Eileen gives him a sour look. "I was trying to prove a point." He whinnies with laughter. "Are you into soccer?" she asks you.
"Not especially. I played some in elementary school, middle school."
"Everybody did," Eileen says. "Even Joshua did. Didn't you?"
"Yeah, I was pretty good." He squints at you. "What school'd 'ju go to?"
"Schuyler."
"We went to Fell's Lake, Eileen and me."
You whistle. "You live up around there?"
"No. We were just in the district or something. You guys win any championships or anything?
"No."
"Us neither." He grins. "Probably 'cos they had guys like me playing for 'em. So what are you into?"
You shrug. "Nothing, really. Games?"
"Everybody's into games," Eileen says. Now she is absorbed in her phone, which is starting to make you wonder if Scott was really right about her and her interest in you. "You into theater? Band? Debate? Graffiti?" Your denials at least have the effect of getting her to drop her phone to stare disbelieving at you. "You gotta be into something!"
"I'm not into anything!" Joshua tells her with an impudent grin.
"You're into puppets," she retorts. "Oh, hey," she says to you, "you're not into crossdressing or cosplay or furries stuff, are you?"
"No!"
"Don't act all offended. It's cool, whatever. Joshua's got this puppet fetish—"
"It's not a fetish!" he protests.
"It's a fetish," she informs him. "You wanna show him?"
"Uh—" Joshua looks momentarily confused. "Sure!"
Eileen hops to her feet and gives you and Joshua both a look, which gets you and him onto your feet as well. "What's your address?" she asks him. "You got that?" she asks you after he tells her. "You can follow us out, but you can look for his house in case you lose us."
She falls back beside you as the three of you exit, and for a moment you think she might be indicating an interest in you, but it's just so she can tell you, in voice that's low but still audible to Joshua, "You'll wanna drive separate, because you will be freaked out and want to get away."
* * * * *
They lead you up to the the far northeast side of town, past the mall and the car dealerships, to a neighborhood of modest-sized ranch-style houses. Inside one of these, Joshua introduces you in passing to his mom, who is as frizzy-headed as her son and is dressed in a burnt-orange dress that's as shapeless as a bag. Unkindly, you wonder if she's a dope-smoker like her son seems to be. She's very friendly, though, and nods cheerily when Joshua says the three of you are going to hang out in the "basement."
It's a narrow staircase in back of the kitchen that takes you down there. It's a big space, a lot bigger than you were expecting, almost like a second, underground floor, that has been turned into a rumpus room. The walls are lined with knotty pine, and the cement floor is softened (slightly) with cast-off scraps of office carpet. There's a dumpy brown sofa and lots of beanbag chairs.
Also puppets. At least two dozen marionettes dangle by their strings from the low ceiling, drifting and clattering gently against each other as they are stirred by the gush of air conditioning from a large vent high in the wall. Half-dozen lava lamps sit on wall-mounted shelves.
"Neat collection," you observe as you study the marionettes. They are brightly colored, and many are dressed exotic costumes. The faces are exaggerated and grotesque, with bulbous noses, floppy ears, and pop-out eyes, but there is absolutely nothing about them that would "freak" you out.
"Tell him their names," Eileen challenges Joshua.
His face twists up into a glassy grin of panic. "They don't have names."
"Sure, they do! You have names for all of them."
"They don't—! I used to have names for them, but that was all a joke! That was back in middle school!"
"I remember one of them was Peter," Eileen says, "and another one was Conor, and another one was Penny." She touches some of them, sending them swinging more wildly on their strings. Joshua whinnies again.
"Do you know how to work them?" you ask.
"Yes." "No!" Eileen and Joshua speak at the same time. "You used to," she chides him. "Are you out of practice?"
"What is your deal today?" he begs. "Why are you giving me so much shit?"
"I'm not giving you shit. I just want Whatsisname here to understand what a freak and a weirdo you are."
"She doesn't even remember your name!" Joshua cries in triumph at you.
"What is his name?" she asks him.
"It's Will," you remind them when Joshua turns that same glassy grin on you.
"Didn't you used to have a 'Will' up here?" Eileen pushes the marionettes around, searching.
"No."
"Sure! Will Hoffer. Hoffer the Huffer. I think it was this one." She tweaks the foot of a marionette with a large beard, dressed as a Cossack.
Joshua looks at you and twirls his finger by his temple. "She's crazy," he tells you.
Eileen gives him a reproachful look. "I'm just trying to tell him it's okay if he's got a fetish. You've got a fetish, and I don't mind."
You're starting to feel really sorry for Joshua, so you try to soften the subject by asking where he found all these puppets. But Eileen instantly jumps in to answer. "He made them."
"Some of them," he corrects her. "I bought a lot of them. Online."
"Like porn," says Eileen.
"It's not like—!" Now Joshua turns red. "Will you fucking stop it already? Jesus!" To you, more calmly, he says, "I liked Pinocchio when I was a kid, it was like my favorite movie. You know Stromboli's circus?"
"It's been a long time since I've seen it."
"Well, he's the guy with the puppet circus. It's where Pinocchio sings 'I Got No Strings on Me'. Anyway, I took a woodworking class in middle school, and I made a marionette for it, a couple of marionettes, actually, and that just kind of turned into a hobby. And the ones I bought online—!" He wheels hotly on Eileen, "were just as models I could study!"
She's accepted all this with a ducked head and huge, bashful smile. Now, she says, "You wanna put on some music and we could all chill out?"
"Oh, fuck you," he grumbles, but crosses over a stereo set up. He puts something on with a slithering zither and stumps upstairs.
Eileen shoots you a mischievous look. "It's a fetish," she murmurs. "He used to have all these names for his puppets, names of people in our class, and he'd do little skits with them for us. For me and some of the rest of our friends. Make them do these, you know, embarrassing things. It was funny. It was hilarious. Doing these stories about people we went to school with."
"That doesn't sound like a fetish."
"He got into it. And, I mean, the stuff he did was funny. We were all, like, you should go into theater, we told him. You're so funny with this. But he wouldn't, said he wasn't interested. But he would do things with the puppets. So I think it was the puppets he liked, not the, you know, making stuff up and acting it out."
"Maybe he just was afraid he'd have stage fright."
She gives you a long, searching look, then shrugs.
Then with a soft "Unff," she falls into one of the beanbag chairs. "You know," she says after showing you a lazy smile," you do kind of look like Adam."
It takes you a moment to recall the subject of "Adam." "Who is this 'Adam' guy," you ask.
"Just someone who goes to school with us. It's funny, I guess I always just kind of assumed that everyone would know who Adam is. It's like he's everywhere, and he's really popular. He plays in a band."
"And I look like him?"
"Kind of. There's a resemblance." She grins. "Girls like him. He's had lots of girlfriends. Have you had lots of girlfriends?"
"Um, not really."
"Maybe that's good. Adam can be kind of skeezy. I'm pretty sure you're not."
"How can you tell?"
"Because you keep trying to be on Joshua's side. 'Maybe he had stage fright.' You're a nice person."
You can't help wincing.
"Why are you still standing?" she asks, so you drop into the beanbag chair opposite her. "And you really don't have any fetishes or anything? You don't even look at porn?"
"Oh, I look at porn," you assure her. "But I—"
You break off as Joshua returns, carrying three glasses. One's a Coke, he tells you, another's a Diet Coke, and the third is a Dr. Pepper. He gives the diet drink to Eileen, and asks your preference. You take the Coke.
"Will was just about to tell us what he's into," Eileen tells Joshua.
"You found out his fetish?" Joshua asks. He seems to have recovered his humor, for he grins.
You're about to insist that No, you don't actually have any interests except maybe playing games, but then you remember the stuff you've got out in your truck. Scott and Brendan don't seem all that interested, but maybe Joshua and Eileen would be.  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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