Two green and blue scaled alligators were walking along a swamp in the morning conversating with each other. One of their names was Garet and the other one was named Baron. Garet was having some problems at the moment, mostly because his current girlfriend just broke up with him. And the alligators had a feeling that mating season was coming soon.
"Hey man, can I ask you something?" asked Garet.
"Sure, why not?" responded Baron.
"Does my breath stink? I mean, a lot of gators have been walking around spreading rumors that it smells like rotten meat and dirty gym socks."
"...Not exactly--" muttered Baron meekly.
"It stinks don't it?"
"Like a fuckin' skunk after it's rolled around in bull shit!"
Garet exhaled loudly and sniffed the air, groaning loudly afterwards.
"Man! It does stink!"
"I told you."
"I don't get it! Every goddamn alligator I've met, that includes you Baron, has nasty alligator breath! Yours smells worse than mine!"
"Yeah, but I'm the one who bangs my girlfriend everynight before I go to sleep." said Baron, smiling.
"Fuck you. If those humans made toothpaste for alligators, I'd gladly brush my teeth everyday."
"You can't pick up a toothbrush."
"SHUT UP BARON!!"
Later that day, Garet and Baron, as well as another group of gators were resting and cooling off near this tiny lake. Actually, it was more of a dirty pool of water that the alligators bathed in.
"So, does anybody got any news to share?" asked a gator named Rex.
"Garet's girlfriend broke up with him cause he's got bad breath."
Garet growled angrily and snapped at Baron, biting him on the tail.
"OW! What the fuck was that for?!"
"You weren't supposed to tell anyone jackass!"
Some of the alligators laughed and snickered audible enough for Garet to hear.
"Hey! All you bastards got funky gator breath too, so I don't know why you guys are laughing!"
"Y'know, now that you mention it, that doesn't make sense. I mean, my breath has literally managed to kill a flower; Garet's just smells like gym socks." said Arnold, a brown alligator.
"Maybe you should mate with an alligator whose breath is worse than yours. That's what I do!" said Rex.
Arnold sighed heavily and limped over to the pool of water, where he began to cool off.
"Are you serious Rex? How do you stand that?!" asked Baron.
"Easy. Every morning I bury my nose in leaves so I can't smell anything. Besides, I like to play around with my girlfriend, like farting while we're having sex."
"...Maybe I'll just find another mate. I hear some crocodiles are getting imported by some poachers!" said Garet.
"Yeah. In the meantime, let's go cool off in the bath." said Baron.
Just as a couple of gators were about to enter the pool, they heard Arnold pass gas loudly before they saw the water gradually turn a dark brown. It also began to stink a lot more than usual. The gators realized what Arnold just did and quickly ran out the pool, leaving Arnold to bathe in his own filth.
"Dude, you're sick! You just took a shit in the pool!" shouted Rex.
"No I didn't!"
"You've been shitting like crazy for the past four days and yesterday, you told me you got diarrhea!"
"...Okay, I took a dump in the pool." laughed Arnold.
"So, what should we do now Baron?" asked Garet.
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