Expecting the unexpected is the norm for the Joker. Despite that, it was surprising how secretive he was being.
The Clown Prince of Crime had heard about a cache of magical treasures. He was in a mischevous state of mind recently instead of a murderous one, and he couldn't resist the idea of using some magical tricks on the Bat. So he had tracked down the treasures, going by hints and rumors, along with the occasional torture, and found where the treasures were buried, in an Aztec temple in Nepal.
He went to the temple, stealing a single-person plane after killing the pilot, cosplaying as Nathan Drake. (He had debated cosplaying as Lara Croft, but decided he didn't have the tush for booty shorts.) Arriving there and making his way through the jungle, he got there unmolested. (Animals took one look at him, one whiff of the madman's scent, and left him alone.)
Giggling like a loon, he made his way through the temple, avoiding the traps he found and stepping carefully into the temple.
"HUZZAH!" he shouted when he got in. Gold, jewels, staves, swords, rings, it all was there. Even if the rumors of magic weren't true, he was making out like a bandit. He reached down, and picked up a single gold coin.
The door slammed shut. "...Less funny that I prefer," he said. "Has the devil finally come to collect? Those WERE some fine cigars I got from him..."
"BEHOLD," thundered a voice.
"Behold? Behold what?" Joker asked.
"BEHOLD, FOR YOU ARE NOW THE ONE TO BEAR MY POWER," said the voice.
"Power's good. Is it a funny power?" Joker asked.
"YOU SHALL CARRY THE MESSAGE OF MY KINGDOM," said the voice.
"Blah blah blah, skip to the good part!" Joker snapped, already bored.
"WITH THESE TREASURES, YOU SHALL SHOW TO ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD THAT IT IS MEN THAT ARE TRULY SUPERIOR. THAT IT IS MEN WHO BELONG IN POSITIONS OF POWER!" the voice roared.
Joker snickered. "So basically, he's a Republican," he quipped.
"WITH THESE TREASURES, WOMEN WILL BE YOUR PLAYTHINGS. THEY WILL DO ANYTHING YOU WISH. EVEN BE YOUR FOOD," the voice said.
"...Starting to see the comedy value here," Joker said, turning thoughtful.
"WITH EACH TREASURE, JUST TOUCHING IT WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK ITS MIGHT. GO, MAN. AND RULE OVER ALL WOMEN," the voice thundered, the doors opening back up again.
Joker cracked up laughing. "Oh my God! This dope is the CLASSIC misogynist. And he's so stupid it's FUNNY!" he chortled. "Ah well. First off, fuck your scheme, I'm doing what I want. That being said, I do have some lovely toys to play with. And there was a native village nearby..."
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
More by this author