Amber preened herself in front of the mirror. She had to acknowledge that she was thicker around the midriff than at the beginning of summer, but her broad upper torso and wide hips kept things she felt in proportion. She knew Kevin claimed she looked fine and his opinion was more valued than Kimberly’s any day. So what if she was now on the bottom of the pyramid? She wasn’t sure that her leg should be risking a fall anyway.
Amber of course was rationalizing. She had no desire to diet and indeed felt Kevin might even be annoyed if she did. Thinking about Ros and Ashley she knew she wasn’t the only one on the squad with a few added pounds.
In truth of course Kimberrly’s eyes were more accurate than Amber’s in estimating her gain. She was now well over 130, not merely approaching it as she liked to think. But her assessment of Kevin was correct. He liked her curves as much as she did, There was a double purpose to his exhibiting his culinary skills to her and her family – he didn’t want her even thinking of diets.
Amber tried putting in some of her older clothes. Always snug they were definitely now too tight. So, OK, she was heavier. But wasn’t gaining a few pounds as you got older normal? For all she knew she might be taller too. The more she thought about it the more she felt like gaining some more weight just to frustrate Kimberly – but then she thought about the threats she’d made to Ros. Deliberate defiance could get them both tossed off the team.
She sat on her bed, her undersized old clothes in hand, thinking about what Kevin had said. “You are the only one who can decide what weight is right for you. Not me, not Kimberly, not anyone. I think you’re just fine – a bit thin for your height even. But that’s subjective and my opinion. Its your body and your life. So you have to decide.”
That evening she cornered her mom, who was a bit stout herself, and asked bluntly, “do you think I’m getting fat? Do I need to go on a diet”
Her mom had been more definite than Kevin., “no and no – definitely not! Please darling, I know you love cheerleading but don’t start developing an eating disorder like so many girls are today! I don’t want you to have to go into therapy like those poor things on Oprah.”
“Big chance of that.” thought Amber. She knew anorexics saw themselves as fat even when they weighed less than a hundred and were fearful of eating anything. Bulimics compensated by stuffing and purging. She knew she was just the opposite. She didn’t think of herself as especially large, loved eating, and in her view didn’t eat that much, The more she thought about it the more she rejected Kimberly’s position that she needed to lose 10 pounds “or else.”.
“I’m, just going to be my own person –and f I ever get too big for Kim then bye bye cheerleading,” she finally decided. The next day, as a deliberate gesture of defiance, she and Kevin had a high calories entrée and dessert within eyesight of a fuming Kimberly.
“I won’t do his every ay,” she confided to her boyfriend, “but this afternoon I wanted to make a statement!”
At the next practice Kimberly demanded that everyone get on a scale for a weight check. Rosa did,, but Ashley and Amber refused, stating she had no right to make such demands.
“I am the captain and I set the rules,” she stormed.
“Not if they discriminatory and illegal – check the Internet. Even University cheer squads are abandoning such standards,” Amber pointed out. ”As long as I can do splits and tumbles as good as anyone I have a right to be here even at 160 or 180.”
“You’re denying my authority?”
“I’m denying that you have the right to abuse that authority by telling others what they should weigh,” replied Amber,
“So you admit that you’re a tub and just don’t like me pointing it out?”
“I don’t consider myself or anyone here tubby, but even if we were that’s a subjective term that has nothing to do with our right to be here,”
Kimberly sensed that Amber was spoiling for a fight and feared that she might win. She’d obviously been doing factual homework that the intellectually lazy Kim hadn’t. The fact was that Amber was excellent in all her routines and had been a junior varsity squad heads who probably had ambitions for Kimberly’s job the coming year. Unlike the more phlegmatic and less skilled Rosa she might fight and win if pushed too hard. Kim backed down, swinging her head and saying “you’d better decide to do what I’ve told you or you could be sorry. That’s all I’m saying for now.”
With that Kimberly stormed off, leaving Rosa and Ashley amazed.
“wow, you really took the queen bee to task,” Rosa said
“Well I’m no drone in her hive,” snapped Amber.
“Look,” confided Ashley, “I know we’ve not bee lose, but for what its worth I’m sorru you had to put up with that crap and thankful you spoke up. OK?”
Amber looked at her former mentor and said “Thanks. From you that took a lot. I appreciate it.”
With that she and Kevin walked off and word of the confrontation began circulating around the student body. But to Amber the important thing was Kevin’s assurance hat he would stand by her. That evening as she and her family enjoyed the chicken marsala dinner he had prepared her parents also swore to back her up.
“What with that girl?” Amber’s dad asked after he heard what had occurred.
“She must be insecure inside and compensates by bullying and trying to control others weaker than her I guess,” Kevin said. “But Amber’s not controllable. She has a mind and a will of her own and she gives respect to those who earn it rather than threatening to harm her if she doesn’t. Its how I’ve tried to be and its part of why I like her.”
“So this summer you weren’t just trying to be Sir Galahad to the incapacitated princess?’ Amber commented.
“As I recall we discussed our GPAs rather than your tumbling scores in our first real conversation – that was a calculated diversion from your cheerleading persona and it worked,” Kevin grinned.
“Yes, that’s true. Now that I recall you were acting as though that part of my life wasn’t really even that significant to you,”
“Now I was at every Junior Varsity game you ever performed in – I knew your skills. But you’re partly right, I had been impressed by you as a person before I even knew you were on the squad. You tackle your classes just like I do, which is rare, but you were oblivious to the similarity. While you were still part of Ashley’s posse I knew it wasn’t the time. I was in a world of music, business and other interests that she likely wouldn’t have approved.”
Amber’s parents were amazed at the seemingly casual but obviously well thought out calculations of Amber’s boyfriend.
“So by bumping Ashley Kim did me a favor?”
“Inadvertently. But you watch – Kim’s overreaching and getting a bad rep. She’s going to stumble and when she does expect Ashley to pounce. If you notice she hasn’t quit the team.”
“I thought that was just to please her parents?”
“They no doubt agree. But my info is that its personal as well. She believes she’s better qualified and deserves the position. Do you think Kim earned it fairly?
“Honestly, I can’t see how. It was like Kim came out of nowhere and grabbed it.”
“And not even that. Kim was given it by people who wanted to teach Ashley’s family a lesson, Kim doesn’t realize that, of course. Right now she thinks she’s Miss Superior and is off on a power trip with an ego the size of the Astrodome waiting to go pop.
“Ashley probably thinks she’s superior as well.”
“I don’t know her like you do, but I feel her attitude is one of quiet entitlement that comes with those who are born to power - I don’t think I’ve ever seen her bully or abuse anyone, Its different.”
Amber thought a moment. “You know, you’re right. She was at times patronizing and condescending, but I can’t think of her ever insulting people like Kim.”
“Its called class. People like her don’t do it even to those they regard as their inferiors.”
“She even apologized to me for the way I’m being treated.”
“I noticed – like I say, she’s taken a fall, learned some lessons and is looking for payback. her fury is building and she’s biding her time looking for an opening. Now, if I’ve pontificated enough is everyone ready for Crème Brule for dessert?”