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(3)
by frosty Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Interactive · Other · #1538446
Not a story just a bunch of jokes
This choice: Lil' Johnny and the holidays  •  Go Back...
Chapter #3

Lil' Johnny and the holidays

    by: frosty Author IconMail Icon
Lil' Johnny's family is getting ready for thanksgiving. His mom and dad are upstairs arguing. "You are such a bastard!" "Well your a stingy bitch!" His father stomps out of the room into the bathroom. Johnny enters and asks his mother "Mommy whats a bastard and a bitch?" she replies "Well a bastard is another word for a gentleman and a bitch is another word for a lady" she leaves Johnny wondering and goes downstairs. Johnny wanders to his brothers room who is in the middle of his health homework. "Conception occurs when the man puts his penis in the vagina..." Johnny speaks up "Bro whats a penis and vagina?" His brother not wanting to explain the "birds and the bees" says " A penis is a type of mans hat and a vagina is a ladys overcoat" He shoos Johnny out of the room and Johnny goes to find his father in the bathroom shaving. He cuts himself and says "Shit!" "Daddy whats shit?" His dad startled says "It's the type of shaving cream I use." Johhny accepts the answer and goes downstairs to find his mother cutting the turkey. She accedently cuts her finger "Fuck!" "Mommy whats fuck mean?" She replies "Its a special way to cut the turkey" At that statement the doorbell rings and Johnny runs to greet his guests.

He gathers them all in the front hall and proudly exlaims to the group:

"Welcome bitches and bastards, may I take your penises and vaginas? Mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey, and dads upstiars wiping the shit off his face."

THE END.

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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/interactive-story/item_id/1538446-Jokes/cid/661793-Lil-Johnny-and-the-holidays