Thomas was almost at the port, after having to go past a leprechaun convention, Meeting fanboys, almost falling in love with some hot dragoness and nearly getting abducted by aliens he was on a fine stretch of track.
"Thank bl**dy God it's all over." Thomas said, but there was worse to come..... Much worse. He arrived at the port where many oversize freight ships and other crap was afloat, he was lead by some worker over to his craft, he was expecting something big and safe, but when he got to his boat, he saw it was an old yellow steamboat, it had enough room for him but saw it's crew didn't look like they could drive it. "Oh God no" Thought our blue hero as he uncoupled from his train and then was lifted by crane onto the rails on the boat, some of the supplies were added onto the boat along with some extra railcar Thomas didn't see, the boat was detached from the poles the ropes were tied to and took off, some musical number began as they got into the open area of the port.
(Syntisizer tune)
"Ch'all right!"
"Ahhhhhhhhh 'Ish!" The tune was about riding a boat...
"I'm onna boat!" (I'm onna boat!) "I'm onna boat!" (I'm onna boat!) "Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat!" (Sailing on a boat) "I'm onna boat!" (I'm onna boat!) "I'm onna boat!" "Take a good hard look at the mother ****ing boat!"
Thomas was annoyed by this Drunken T-Pain sailor song and looked ahead, Nothing except T-Pain and the crew dancing around and the sea, He looked ahead and was surprised to see the cast of Tugs floating nearby, the tune changed to the Tugs theme as Thomas was floated closer to the tugs. "Bust my buffers! I didn't know you boats were real!" "We are real!" said Ten cents, "We were just going" He was cut off when the Red Baron flew in his plane and shot down the tugs, thus having them sink to the bottom of the literal Davy Jones' locker, the boats sunk into the locker and it closed on them, thus to forever suffer being wedged between a history textbook and the last report card Davy got, he got a C- in spelling. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Victory is mine! Yay!" But the Red Baron flew straight into a Tie fighter and his plane blew up.
The trip went smoothly if it weren't for T-Pain showing off some of his lousy break dance moves. Thomas spotted pirate ships coming towards them. "Everyone! Look! Pirates!" The crew looked over and surely enough, Gay Pirates in pink ships were after the steamboat. Everyone then spoke in some getto girls voice "Ah H311 no." And epic battle occurred as the crew of the steamboat got out their lightsabers while the pirates used their generic swords to fight, blood was everywhere, bombs and missiles were being shot at each other.... That was what was Thomas was seeing on a Tv while the crew strangled the pirates to death. Some beautiful music was heard as some wind was about to blow the ships away, the steamboat crew quickly ran back into the steamboat before the pirate ships were blown away, everyone looked back except for Thomas that Link was riding his boat and used the Wind Waker to blow them away. "Thanks Link!" The grew said as Link simply made a welcome "Yah!" or "He-yah!" sound. He sailed his boat away to some other place nearby. Thomas fell asleep after a long ride but woke up when he heard the boat's whistle. "Mines up ahead! Mines!" "What!?!" Thomas yelled as he looked forward, he saw a huge sign floating in front of them that said "Danger: Le mines, Zey vill blow your face off and shall Le-kill you." "French mines?" Thomas asked "Don't they mean a Mime field?" Everyone looked at him oddly then laughed. "Sorry I asked" He said as everyone got ready to take on whatever the mine field had in store for them.
What now?
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