Julie waited for quite some time and almost felt like calling it a night when she spotted someone headed around the back corner of the bank.
"Here we go." Julie was pretty excited that something was actually happening on her first day on the job. She grabbed a flashlight, got out of the car, and went around the same corner.
"Hold it right there!" she ordered, shining her flashlight at the suspect. It was a woman with somewhat long brown hair. She was a little shorter than Julie, but more hefty. She wore a dark-grey sweatshirt, black sweatpants that covered her wide posterior, and a ski mask. Julie found it rather stereotypical, but she knew she had no room to talk since ate a bunch of donuts.
"Alright, hands in the air where I can see 'em!" Julie ordered, which the woman obeyed. "Now what are you doing here?!"
"If you're a cop, then you should know." she said.
"Are you the...Blaster Bomber?"
"Yep."
"But you look a bit...different than what you were described. I thought you wore a bodysuit."
"Details get hazy when you barely have time to know whats going on. And I changed my outfit because of that!"
"Well whatever, now turn around!" This time the Blaster Bomber didn't move. "I repeat; turn around!"
The Blaster Bomber still didn't turn around, but she DID do something; something shocking.
FFFFFFVVVVVVVVVVVWWWWWWWWWWWVVVVVVVVVVVVVTTTTTTTTT!!
She ripped a huge, long, raspberry-like fart. While it wasn't incredibly forceful, it was still a huge blast that wilted all of the flowers in a wide area behind her behind, as well as blowing back Julie's hair.
Julie was in too much shock to say anything.
"Ahhhhh! It always ends that way." the Blaster Bomber sighed, lifted her mask above her forehead, and turned around, but she was also shocked that Julie was still standing.
"So THATS what your face looks like." Julie said. The Blaster Bomber's lips were plump and her cheeks were slightly chubby.
"How are you still awake? My gas has knocked out every person and cop in my vicinity!"
"Because you aren't the only plump woman around here with super-farts." Julie said proudly.
PPPPPWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRVVVVVVVVVHHHH!
She lifted her leg and ripped a loud fart that caused the bank to sway a little in her breeze.
"Careful with that blast. You just might be helping me break in." the Blaster Bomber said, rather impressed.
"I figured thats how you break in without explosives. No wonder you came around the back."
"Oh its explosive alright!" the Blaster Bomber said enthusiastically with a big grin. "I blast a hole in the wall outside where the vault is, grab what I can, and go. Sometimes I'll just walk right in, knock out everyone in the bank in an instant with one blast before they know what hit them, grab what I can, and go. And if I am feeling really greedy and after some beans, chili, or Mexican food, I'll then go right up to the vault and unleash an SBD so noxious that it'll melt that massive soundproof metal door!"
"Wow, I'll admit thats very impressive and innovative, but its not exactly smart of you to tell me your techniques."
"Why? You're the only one who can withstand my blasts! Send the entire police force after me; I'll blow 'em all away! Their protective gear is no match for my butt, I'll explode their cars before they can even get away, and any gas masks or weapons they bring I'll melt! And I don't even need a fart-starter to do that!" the Blaster Bomber bragged, resting her hands on her stomach.
"I see your point, and you're right. I will tell you its a little sad; we moved here not too long ago, and I think you and I could've been good friends if you weren't a criminal."
"Criminals get caught. And I ain't going to become one anytime soon!"
"We'll see! I was the best cop where I used to live, and its for similar reasons as you. I could bring down any criminals with my gas in an instant without them even knowing, and at that point its easy to cuff and arrest them! It meant I always had to work alone, but it was worth it to make things a little safer each time."
"Thats not going to work with ME. You'll have to try something more traditional, and I explained why that won't work."
"So we both got our work cut out for us. Now before things get bad, I wanna know why you became a criminal. I mean, we're alike in a lot of ways."
"Its not obvious to you? I'm a fat gassy woman! Society don't want people like me! No man is going to find me attractive, and thats assuming someone would even want to be around me! Any job I get eventually...blows over, and stuff like that spreads almost as fast as my farts do! I didn't see any other options."
"I get how it is to be a social outcast, but that doesn't mean I turned to crime! You've gotta keep on searching and being a good person, and you'll come across the right path. My family had to move countless times and the way we were treated made things rough. It went on for years, but we kept on and eventually made it."
There was a moment of silence.
"Whoa...and here I thought things would never change for me...I bet if I met you before, it would be different, but I've gone too far to turn back."
"No you haven't! You can turn yourself in, and eventually...you can start a new life."
"You think it'll be that easy? If I couldn't get anywhere before, you think a criminal record will do me any favors?!"
"Then I'll have to take you by force."
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