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After months of studying together and dating, you hadn’t shared your secret with Dan.
“Dan, I really like you.” You say. “But I have a confession.”
“You’re cheating on me?” He asks.
“No!” You reply.
“You’re using me for my brains.” He says.
“Are you serious?” You ask with a laugh. “My grades are better than yours!”
“Then what?” He says. “There are so many other guys out there. Why me?”
“Again, I really like you.” You reiterate. “But I started noticing you in class when you started putting on weight and…”
“So you do like fat guys!” He said.
“No!” You shriek angrily. “My whole life I’ve wanted boobs! Gigantic, humongous, oversized boobs! And somehow, my boyfriend has bigger boobs than I do! How do you do it? I want enormous boobs! Show me how to get them!”
Dan blushed. “Julia, I’m fat.”
“Then help me get fat!” You exclaim. “I’ll do whatever you say, just help me!”
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