It is 7 P. of M. on a fry-day evening, in the third lunar cycle of the Earth year. You are waiting outside the human movie theater for your human friends, whom you agreed to meet to see a human movie. Your friends are all simple, unsuspecting Earth humans. But you are not a human. You are a semi-hydroid heteropolyp from the Gajjnax Confederacy! The humans suspect nothing, as your disguise is quite impectrable... impeggna... your disguise is quite good (of course you have mastered their language, but sometimes hard words give you trouble). In order to blend in, you have made human friends and partake in normal activities. As the sun sets and your numerous organelles enter their nocturnal cycle, you see these friends arrive.
Elizabeth Johnson, female, 20 Earth-years
Marcus Hayford, male, 22 Earth-years
Tina Hayford, female, 11 Earth-years - sister (that is, female born of the same human parents) to Marcus. Still in larval phase, their mutual mother-unit has evidently insisted that he bring the younger human along.
Tim Friedrich, male, 20 Earth-years
Wendy Long, female, 19 Earth-years
The one called Tim greets you warmly. "Yo, David (your expertly-chosen human name)! What's goin' on?"
"Hail, friend!" you respond. "All good with me, to answer your question!" Flawless. They know nothing.
From the customary "small chat" that ensues, you learn that Wendy has purchased the tickets in advance. As a result your group is led to the viewing room with only minimal delay, and the filmograph is aired without incident.
It appears to be a romantic comedy, as it contains far fewer explosions than other human film-movies you have seen. It isn't long, however, before you feel a familiar sensation in your waste sac. You must use the human facilities.
You politely excuse yourself and wander the dark hallways looking for the waste-excreting chamber (or 'backroom' as they call it). You finally find one and, after making sure it is designated for the human gender you are disguised as (not a mistake you wish to make again), you prepare to enter. Suddenly, you see a sign. It says:
OUT OF ORDER
Due To Freaky Sh*t
Unfortunately, you have no idea what that means, so you enter anyway.
Inside, you look for a stall. Fortunately, they are all empty. This is good because you will require privacy. The specifics of your unique anatomical processes could well drive a human being insane were they to witness it. To be safe, you open the stall on the end, ignoring another sign taped to the door.
You stop. You sense something unusual - a smell, perhaps, or something in the air. It's something you've encountered before somewhere... on another planet? You want to analyze it, but your flazja glands are about to burst. It can wait until after.
Once you've finished your horrible, horrible business, you activate the toilet device's flush lever. For an instant, the smell becomes stronger. Suddenly,
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