Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel look an awful lot alike, don’t they?
I mean, I’m just being honest when I say this, but they really do. They’re both pale, with black hair and big eyes. For the most part, about 60% of their face consists of their bangs anyway—who’s to say that they aren’t the same person? I
Well, Zooey namely. One can imagine that having a much more successful celebrity doppelganger can be stressful when one is a celebrity herself. In all of Katy’s “accept yourself for who you are” and dying her hair all the time, Zooey’s general quirkiness and playing of the ukulele must often go overshadowed!
There’s only… what, one picture of the two of them together? Honestly, it’s like a bad episode of the Twilight Zone!
However… if there was some way for Zooey to distinguish herself from Katy, make it easier for the media masses to differentiate between the two of them, she may get more limelight. Better movie deals, more sitcom appearances, better commercials…
Well the most obvious answer must be staring her in the bangs: Katy Perry would have to be the one to change, not her!
After all, she was just fine! She wasn’t in the tabloids every other day with rumors about Rob Pattinson and the oh-so-old story about a divorce from Russel Brand. It was obvious that Katy was the one who needed a good adjustment—no, not her, she was right on track. Even still, her name in all those headlines must burn poor Zooey to cinders!
But what if, stay with me now… Katy Perry got really fat?
It solves all of her problems right there; Zooey gets to keep asking Siri if it’s raining and playing in B Movies while slowly becoming the cutest thing in the media while Katy blows up like a balloon…
—hey, the whole “plus-size” thing works for Adele. Don’t judge.
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