Severus Snape was not surprised by the announcement that the headmaster found another instructor for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. He was used to it every year, or more frequently, when necessary.
What was wrong this time? His name was John Smith. Was Prof. Dumbledore running out of ideas, or did he think that no one would think the name John Smith was fake because it was so obviously false?
The other thing that was off was he looked like Barty Crouch, Jr. Not just a passing resemblance either. During the faculty meeting, Severus purposely placed himself so he could keep an eye on this individual. He drank nothing other than the tea all of them were offered. 'Smith' also resisted sticking his tongue out and from getting a fevered wild look in his eyes. As a young Slytherin, Crouch stood out, but at the time, the rest of the house chalked it up to him taking all the classes in the curriculum to achieve twelve OWLs and NEWTs.
After the meeting, Severus was able to block John Smith and get him to the side, in case he wanted to race off to drink some Polyjuice, and mentioned, “Your seeming youth may have the students trying to take advantage of you.”
Predictably, the headmaster inserted himself into the conversation. “No need to worry, Severus. John has impeccable credentials.”
“An entire shelf full of fictional tales he's written?”
“Oh no, not this time, Severus.”
John Smith actually took a billfold out of his brown three-piece muggle suit jacket, and opened it in front of Severus' face.
Unsure of what an impeccable credential would be to Albus Dumbledore for this position, Severus' mind was blank. He did not often see things written in Danish, but he knew enough to recognize a season pass to Legoland … for 1983.
“Obviously,” he replied dryly. He understood Dumbledore chose to make this position into a joke, but there was no need to taunt him in such a manner. The headmaster had let John Smith in on his jest. Was his appearance and name purposely crafted to add to the headmaster's obvious disdain for the subject?
Smith cockily added, “Besides, I'm brilliant.”
The other new staff member chose this moment to get invade his personal space, announcing her name, “Martha Jones,” while extending her hand. She was not really a full staff member, but some sort of advanced apprentice that would be assisting Madam Pomfrey in some way. The headmaster had been suitably vague. This Jones was also a former colleague of Smith's. Wait, Jones and Smith? The headmaster was truly losing his touch.
Noticing Severus was slow to take the lady's hand, Albus introduced his colleague, “Yes, and this is Prof. Severus Snape, Potions Master.”
Severus did the gentlemanly thing and took the lady's hand, however his contact was brief, and he gave her a quick nod to acknowledge what the headmaster said.
Martha's face lit with a broad smile as she repeated, “Potions?” She really could not believe the place the Doctor landed them in this time. Magic, of all things, and in England. Oh, wait, Scotland. In a real, fairy tale looking castle and he claimed that it was today. Well, close enough in 1995. It was within her lifetime. And now the typical looking wizard, Dumbledore, claimed this dark looking bloke had something to do with potions. Potions. How was she expected to keep a straight face during all this till the Doctor found the oddity that caused the time deviation in the area. Might as well just chalk it up to magic and be on their way.
Unsure if this Jones was making fun of his subject, Severus merely replied, “Yes.”
“Fascinating,” Smith added, also looking amused with a toothy grin.
Madam Pomfrey joined their group and pleasantly added, “Ah, you've met Severus. You'll learn more from him about the potions used in the infirmary, Madam Jones. In addition to the ones used for more extreme cases that you will be seeing at St. Mungo's.”
“Not madam,” Martha corrected. “Martha's fine.”
Simultaneously, Severus asked, “She will?” No one had informed him of tutoring an adult witch. How convenient that he was the last to know.
“Not madam?” Albus repeated, ignoring Severus' question. “Our female staff that is not a professor is either a Mister or a Madam.”
“How about Miss Jones?” Martha suggested. The female staff was somewhat older than her and may get away with being addressed as madams.
“That might confuse some and they might see you on the same level as a student ...”
“Well, I am a student really. Just an advanced student,” Martha replied brightly.
Severus felt a headache coming on. A pushy, 'advanced' student who was a companion of someone who unashamedly introduced himself as 'brilliant'. Was the Hogwarts castle big enough to contain two pairs of such nuisances? Hopefully, they'd soon come into conflict and spend the rest of Smith's tenure as Defense instructor trying to one-up each other on the quidditch pitch, and leave the rest of them alone.
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