Well Claire had done it again. She had gotten drunk at a party and decided that she wanted to go home, but when her date, Terry, wanted to stay she decided she’ll just walk home. And of course when Claire decided to walk anywhere she inadvertently ended up hitchhiking. So now she was on a lonely road in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by fields and one ditch running along the side. But being in this situation before Claire didn’t feel the fear most people would, in fact she just felt gassy.
TTTTTTHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRPPPPPPTTTTTT!
“Well that keep me warm for a little while,” Claire giggled. She held out her thumb at the sight of car headlights. She also stuck out a little leg. “Couldn’t hurt,” Claire reasoned. The car slowed down and came to a halt in front of Claire, and she quickly jumped in before the person could change his mind. “Hey I’m Claire!” she said excitedly closing the door behind her. She turned to face the stranger and was surprised to see a very handsome stranger dressed in a 3 piece suit.
“Hi I’m Ray, where’re you going?” Ray asked his new passenger looking her up and down. She had to be 35 or 36, but was dressed like she was 15 or 16. She had on some wedge heel sandals, black shiny spandex pants, a pink t-shirt under a white wife beater, stained with beer and what looked to be cheetos. She wasn’t fat but she was certainly thick.
“I’m heading wherever you are,” the blonde laughed flirtatiously. She then cut a nasty fart, filling the car with the smell of beer and desperation. “Sorry I fart a lot. But some men like that,” she smiled farting again.
TTTTTTHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
Ray smiled at the cheap blonde woman, there was something about her easygoing nature, and the way she didn’t care about how she smelled, looked, or farted that he found appealing. He had always been set up with very prim and proper women, and now he had this crude and rude woman in front of him, and despite her smell she was a breath of fresh air. “I like it too,” Ray smiled.
Claire let another fart fly from between her butt cheeks, making them flap like the lips on a gossiping housewife. She laughed and giggled running her hand along Ray’s arm. Ray was nervous but he felt this woman was worth taking a chance on. “Once we get to town you can drop me off anywhere,” Claire said with a booty burp, one she fanned away form her butt.
“I was wondering if you’d like to, um, if you’d like to head back to my place for a, uh, a drink?” Ray asked nervously.
Claire found Ray’s nervousness endearing and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Does my ass smell bad?”
“Well, it kind of does,” Ray said hoping not to hurt her feelings.
Claire looked at Ray and gave him a look as if to say “duh!” She just smirked and farted again.
“Oh! “Does your ass smell bad?” I get it now!” Ray said hitting his head. It was a long drive, but Ray made it in record time.
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