"Hi Coach Knight, how are you?" Adeline said, trying to be as cheerful as possible.
"That's ASSISTANT Coach Knight." Ashley said with a growl. "Now what do you want?"
"Well, I was kind of wondering... if you could..." Suddenly, Adeline realized how strange her request was. It's surprisingly uncomfortable to ask someone how to teach you to be a jerk.
"Spit it out. Your making me late for lunch."
"Alright fine. I was wondering if you could help me get my 'edge' back."
"What the hell do you mean."
"Back in the day, before you got here, I had a reputation of being a tough teacher. But over time I've seemed to lose my edge. And I was hoping you could help me get it back."
"So you want me to teach you how to be a bitch huh?"
"For lack of a better word... yes."
"That's a strange request. But sure, I'll help you get your edge back. Follow me to my office."
Adeline followed the titanic sized Knight back into her office. Both women had trouble fitting their incredible bulk through the narrow door, but they both managed. When Adeline entered the office, she was immediately impressed by the amount of food and cooking supplies that was crammed into the office. Instead of filling cabinets, there were four mini fridges stuffed to the brim with soda and ice cream. Instead of a bulletin board, there were three wall mounted micro waves. Instead of a computer, there was a T.V and right next to it there was a hot plate.
"Alright, talk to me." Knight said, as she put three pizzas into the oven. And pulled a 40 oz bottle of mountain dew.
"Well today I had a bad day with my class. They didn't listen to my orders, and they actually laughed to myface.
"Damn, that's rough. Alright now I know what I'm dealing with." Knight said, as she pulled out the three pizzas, and opened two bags of Doritos. "Hey, help yourself to some of the food. There's plenty."
"Oh thanks for the offer, but I'm more of a sweets person."
"No problem." Ashley said through a mouth full of cheese and meat. Knight then opened up one of the many drawers in her desk, and pulled out bags and bags of candy. "Go crazy."
Adeline didn't need any encouragement. She had always had a weak spot for candy, and seeing Ashley's stash drove her insane. The two heavy honies gorged on junk food for a solid hour. Both girls jamming food into their gaping mouths. Knight was cramming food into her mouth with her bare hands, and used her stomach as a towel for any excess grease. And Adeline was stuffing three snickers bars into her mouth at once. Eventually, the feast of grease and sugar was over.
"Oh, that was too good." Mumbled Knight, before she released a mighty belch.
"It was quite the meal, I haven't eaten like that in a long time." Adeline slurred, eye's glossed over. "Oh wait, you never actually told me how to get my edge back."
"Oh it's simple. Your students don't have any respect for you. These kids are new, they don't know that your supposed to be tough. To them your just one of the many overweight pushovers who call themselves teachers at Buttercombe."
"I've never actually thought of it that way." Adeline said, furrowing her brow.
"So the solution is simple. You have to lay down the law, drop the hammer. You have to teach them to respect you."
"Well how do I do that. I'm really out of practice."
"Here's an easy trick. All the girls in this school are fat-asses. And they all love their snacks, right?"
"That's true."
"So if you see anyone, and I mean anyone, eating in your class. Take the food, and keep it for yourself. No second chances. No warnings. No giving anyting back. Just take it. Trust me, they'll get the message."
"That's...That's an excellent idea." Adeline said, feeling better now that she has a plan. "You know what Knight, your alright."
"Call me Ashley." Knight said with a smirk. "Now how about seconds."
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